|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 2, 2021 11:18:26 GMT
Over the years I've received so many appeals from orphans with trunk boxes full of cash that I could fill a whole forum with just those emails. But the latest orphan email is... different. Read on.
I've changed the scammer's name (it's another Monty Python reference); his emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
22 June
I am keith Maniac from Ghana and my father was a gold dealer in Ghana before he died my father funds has been in the USA because of the lockdown and now my father is dead the UN want to help me get the funds out and I need your help. Sir I write to you because I was just called yesterday by the head of UN informing me that I have been granted pardon and my delivery can be complete from America to any country of my choice.
At the moment I do not have any money to do anything because my funds are since held up at the JFK international airport for a long time now.
They have asked me to contact them via email.
REDACTED
Please help to contact the UN UNHCR via email on behalf of me so that we can get information of how to finish this delivery to you once and for all now.
Thanks From,
Keith Maniac
OK, that's got my attention.
Mr Maniac
I'm confused by your email. I don't understand why exactly you need my help with the UN. Please clear this up.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
The Lad doesn't even try.
23 June At the moment I do not have any money to do anything
Mr Maniac
I'm missing something here, maybe. Who told you to contact me?
Malcolm Reynolds
Bare minimalism is this Lad's MO, obviously.
23 June Someone working in the UN told me you can help me, pls I need your help.
Mr Maniac
Someone at the UN had no right to do that! But that aside, if the UN is helping you, as you said, why would you need my help? It's not like the UN hasn't got plenty of money to throw around.
Malcolm Reynolds
24 June Your name need to be on the paper work my good friend
Not good enough, Bubba-Louie.
Mr Maniac
What you said has nothing to do with what I said! And what paper work are you talking about? You need to give me a full explanation of the situation, with nothing left out.
Malcolm Reynolds
A full explanation? Nah.
25 June For now I am a small boy and my dad is dead. they said that i can not do it myself. I need someone to do it for me. that is why i want you to help me. I want all the paper work to be on your name. Pls contact the UN email that i send to you and they will tell you want to do my good friend
Maybe a more specific question is needed?
Mr Maniac
How old are you? And what's this "paper work"?
Malcolm Reynolds
25 June I am just 22 years now and the paper work as my beneficiary.
Mal will explain what's wrong with that answer.
You're not a small boy, you're a grown man! Don't you have any pride? Hell, when I was that age I'd been four years in the Marine Corps; you sound like you're barely past kindergarten age.
The Lad's explanation is... well, see Mal's answer.
26 June
That is your life over there, For we here life it is not that too easy. Do you want to help me? Let me know and stop the talking my good friend.
Mr Maniac
You've gotten things ass backwards. If things are really rough over there, you should be growing up quicker, not slower! Hell, you should be like the youths and kids I saw in Somalia in 1993, where there were many fighters as young as 12 toting AKMs and RPGs.
Another thing; you're asking me to help you. That means I get no sass from you. Telling me to "stop the talking" is giving me sass. Cut that out or no help, you savvy?
Malcolm Reyhnolds
26 June So what do you want from me?
I borrow a classic Prickyism for Mal's reply.
Mr Maniac
Some honesty would be good. No more of this "small boy" rubbish. Act your age and be a man. If we work together as men, not man and boy, we can get things done.
Malcolm Reynolds
27 June Okay, You help me get it out and I will give you 30%.
28 June Hello my good friend let get it done, I will give you 30% contact the UN for me okay.
Mr Maniac
30% of what?
Malcolm Reynolds
28 June 30% of the funds will be for you when you get it out
28 June Of the funds.
<Facepalm>
Mr Maniac
30% of how much?
Malcolm Reynolds
29 June $7 million usd
FINALLY! Well, that's all we've got time for now. But don't worry, we'll be back soon with more of Mr Maniac! Goodnight!
|
|
|
|
Post by CertainHuman on Jul 2, 2021 18:12:53 GMT
I think this is very accurate |
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 2, 2021 23:49:37 GMT
Next day...
30 June Hi, my good friend how are you I hope fine.
Mr Maniac
I only just now looked back at your first email and noticed this; "my funds are since held up at the JFK international airport for a long time now." How come your (actually your father's) funds are at an airport?
Malcolm Reynolds
Minimalism strikes again!
1 July For my father
Mr Maniac
That's no answer at all! I'll put it another way. Am I correct in thinking that we're talking about cashy money?
Malcolm Reynolds
OK, it's even shorter, but at least he's answering the question!
2 July
Real money
Mr Maniac
In my experience and understanding, the kinds of people who deal in huge sums of cashy money ain't honest folk. They're drug dealers, arms traders, loan sharks, casino owners and other criminals. So how come your father, a gold trader, was dealing in cashy money?
Malcolm Reynolds
It was a brief moment of obedience... now it's back to normal.
2 July The gold is many so is the money too. my good friend just contact the UN okay.
You don't get that answering questions bit, do you?
And that brings us up to date.
We'll be back with updates. Good night!
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 6, 2021 0:52:55 GMT
That last comment wasn't taken well.
3 July You do not want to help me goodbye. too many question.
Straight talking time!
The only people who are afraid of questions are those with something to hide. If you want and need my help for real, you'll answer my questions and be happy about it. And if I need to know something to go ahead, I'll ask a question, and if you don't like it, too bad!
And the Lad folds...
3 July
What is the question ask me
Mr Maniac
I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately. And if you dare kick up a snit about questions, then it's goodbye from me. I'm being serious; so should you be.
Of that seven million dollars, how much is cashy money, and how much is in gold bullion?
Do you know how the money and gold is to be moved?
When the funds reach Ghana, what is my guarantee that you'll pay out that 30%?
What's the name of that guy at the UN?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Details at last! I've changed the UN guy's name.
4 July It is 4 boxs, 2 for money and 2 for gold, Contact the UN Diplomat James Earl Jones and he will tell you want to do for you to get all funds, When you get the funds from the UN you will now have to take your 30% and send the balance to me ok. Thank you my good friend.
Mr Maniac
OK, that's good. Nice prompt answers. One final question though, at this stage; how much of the value is in gold? The value will be lower here because Australia is a gold-producing country, and that would affect my share.
Malcolm Reynolds
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 7, 2021 9:19:08 GMT
The answer to Mal's question is... confusing.
6 July It will be $32,000,000
Mr Maniac
i asked you the value of the shipment, and you said $7 million. I asked you how much of that is in gold, and you said $32 million. That doesn't make sense.
Malcolm Reynolds
Does this make any sense?
I don not know how much for the shipment, Ask the UN how much for the shipment, I think you ask me how much is the funds. and the gold
Mr Maniac
OK, I'll write to that guy, because you ain't being much help, that's for damn sure.
Malcolm Reynolds
So Mal forwards the first email to the other Lad, who must have been wondering when he would be allowed to say his lines.
Attn: James Earlt Jones
Mr Keith Maniac from Ghana sent me an email asking for help (see below). Please confirm that you received this message.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Stay tuned!
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 8, 2021 2:21:26 GMT
The other scammers involved have only succeeded in making things more difficult for themselves by trying to blend another modality into the script.
8 July Dear Malcolm Raymond,
I have forwarded your email to Diplomat James Jones personal email. He will contact you shortly.
---
Sincerely,
Stacey Galway,
Head of Inquiries,
United Nations Org.
United States Of America.
8 July Good morning Malcolm Raynolds,
I am pleased to have you write me on on behalf of KeIth Maniac the beneficiary because now is when we need to start and we need to begin quickly with anything we have to do for him.
Now first thing you must do is, STOP, PAUSE, HOLD ON to any transaction you have with anyone or persons claiming to be a member of the UN and have been in contact with you before now and after now, You are only to contact or communicate with whom I personally ask you to communicate with and myself will help us do this faster.
Now I have gone through Keith Maniac's file and I know that His father tried very hard to become a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador and that is what we need to start with and then proceed further using your details as a certified member of the UN signed and sealed personally by the hands and supervision of the United Nations Secretary General Antonio Guiteres to certify your membership.
According to the administrative office, they have received Keith Maniac's late father's form but the registration process was not completed because he does not have the proper link and our assigned UN special diplomatic agent in whom he was meant to work with complains he ignored him when he tried to contact him several times. So we will rather put in your information's so that you become the UN Goodwill Ambassador and then we can use your details on our data base to get the boxes released and delivered to you.
Whatever be the case, trust me, you are not going to spend more than a total of $1320 and the following will be achieved…..
Register you genuinely United Nations Goodwill Ambassador “Certified”
Give you all backing documents to prove you are a member including Certificate, Identification Card and United Nations Diplomatic Passport.
Open Inauguration and declaration statement etc
When this is all done, I the special UN Diplomatic Agent will make delivery of all 4 consignments to you with no cost because we know you want to use the funds assist the less privileges and homeless, and victims of rape and war misplaced persons and many more. For this, we must accept you to be a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador and you must listen to me and cooperate 100% now to achieve greatness and only then you and I can meet face to face, video calls or voice calls, am sorry for if it is just possible, then the release and delivery of the boxes can be done swiftly.
If you have a mobile/whatsapp number, please send at your reply so that I can add you for real time communication.
---
Regards,
Dip. James Earl Jone's
# +1 REDACTED
Diplomatic Delivery Agent
UN Diplomatic Delivery Envoy
United Nations Organization
United States Of America......
Mal explains that he has some issues with that plan.
Mr Jones
I'm confused by your message.
First off, you tell me to "STOP, PAUSE, HOLD ON to any transaction you have with anyone or persons claiming to be a member of the UN and have been in contact with you before now and after now." Why are you telling me this? Why would I have transactions with the United Nations?
Secondly, you say that "So we will rather put in your information's so that you become the UN Goodwill Ambassador and then we can use your details on our data base to get the boxes released and delivered to you" - I don't want to be a UN Goodwill Ambassador. I don't want to be beholden to the UN.
Thirdly, you say that "the special UN Diplomatic Agent will make delivery of all 4 consignments to you with no cost because we know you want to use the funds assist the less privileges and homeless, and victims of rape and war misplaced persons and many more" - my deal with Keith Maniac is not about spreading charity but returning his inheritance to him. I don't believe that the UN has the right to set conditions like that.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 9, 2021 1:47:34 GMT
"Keith Maniac" is very quick to tell Mal to do the Bloody Obvious.
9 July Hello, tell him you do not want to be UN ambassador, tell him that you just want to know how to get the funds and gold ok.
And "Mr Jones" is quick to ask Mal the Bloody Obvious.
9 July All I want to do is help.
You tell me, how do you prefer to receive the gold and cash boxes ?
---
Regards,
Dip. James Early Jone's,
Mal supplies straight answers.
Mr Maniac
I told him that. I know what I'm doing. Don't patronize me.
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Jones
If all you really wanted to do was help, you wouldn't have tried to set conditions. And surely you're the SMLE on delivering this gold and cash; you tell me how you can do that, and we'll work from there.
Malcolm Reynolds
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 11, 2021 12:20:05 GMT
And the Diplomat still can't get Mal's name right!
10 July Dear Malcolm Raynolds,
Good morning.
Yes, I am actually the one in whom will be making the delivery of all 4 boxes to you in person and the steps at which this delivery can be carried out successfully is as follows....
Get your personal details and get of Keith Maniac and the details needed are listed below..
Both Full Name:
Address:
Mobile #:
Date of Birth:
Occupation:
When I have the requested personal details of you both, I only then will I need the sum of US$1320 to procure all legal and backing documents for the release and delivery of the boxes to any giving address of your choice.
And this will only take 3 working days to finalize the complete process.
Any other question ?
Regards,
Dip. James Earl Jone's
He did ask...
Mr Jones
Yes, I have questions.
First up; how much is the value of what's in the boxes? Keith Maniac gave me contradictory figures. First he said $7 million, and then told me that $32 million was the value of the gold alone; finally he said I should ask you for clarification. So clarify, please.
Secondly; you said you'd deliver the boxes to me. You'll then have to deliver them to Keith Maniac in Ghana, once I extract me share. Is that clear to you?
Thirdly; what are these documents you mentioned? I'll need details.
Fourthy; you can get Keith Maniac's details from him. You've know him longer than me, after all. I'll send you my details when you've addressed my points.
Malcolm Reynolds
10 July Mr. Malcolm,
First up, There are 4 boxes all in numbers
3 boxes contains 7 Million United States Dollars each which makes it a total of US$21,000,000 and then the last box being the forth one is containing Gold bars worth over US$32,000,000.
Second, Yes I can make the delivery to you then after you have extracted your share then I will deliver the balance to Ken Sam in Ghana.
Thirdly, The legal and backing documents needed will be the Power of Attorney and an Affidavit of Claim. These documents gives you the right to receive the boxes on behalf of Ken Sam and after you have extracted your share I can immediately deliver balance to Ken in Ghana.
Fourthly, Yes definitely I will get Sam's details directly from him and I also wait for your as well.
Also can I be informed how you wish to send the $1320. This money is what will be used to pay for the legal documents.
Regards,
Dip. James Earl Jone's
Now for the make or break moment (emphasis added).
Mr Jones
Here are the details, such as I can or am willing to provide.
Both Full Name: Malcolm Reynolds
Address: REDACTED
Mobile #: None
Date of Birth: July 4, 1968
Occupation: Why do you need this?
Send me the proper invoice for that fee, and the UN receiving account, and we can move on.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Looks like it's "break."
Mr. Malcolm,
Thanks for providing me with almost all details I requested for.
I need to know your occupation because it is court's requirements.
There is no invoice to send to you because courts in the USA does not issue invoice make an Affidavit of Claim and Power of Attorney at the court, and there is also no way you can send 1320 to the UN account. The money is not needed by the UN but will be paid at the court.
If you are ready to proceed, then I will give you my secretary Franchesca's account since she will be the one going about doing the procurement's on my behalf.
Regards,
Dip. James Earl Jone's
Not so fast, Bubba-Louie...
Mr Jones
I'm a survival instructor, formerly a Captain in the United States Marine Corps.
And I'm sending nothing unless you give me an official notification, invoice, whatever name fits best. I'm a United States citizen, and I know something of how courts work via practical experience, and I've paid court fees and charges... and I know that they give invoices for those fees and charges.
Also; given that you're acting in an official capacity as a United Nations diplomat, and those fees and charges are connected to that activity, then the money should logically be paid to the United Nations, not to a private individual's account.
You know what to do, so do it.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 12, 2021 8:45:56 GMT
As expected, the Lad doubles down.
12 July Mr. Malcolm,
Set your conditions to yourself. If you cant take other peoples conditions then do not expect others to take yours.
Whenever Keith or you are ready to proceed. Then write or call me.
Good night.
Regards,
Dip. James Earl Jone's
Malcolm doesn't take that kind of talk well (he cc'd Keith Maniac).
Mr Jones
Then you're clearly not behaving in an official capacity; you're doing some private business on the side, abusing your diplomatic privileges. I should have you fired.
Malcolm Reynolds
|
|
|
|
Post by Yastreb on Jul 18, 2021 3:24:23 GMT
Nothing from Mr Maniac or the diplomat in nearly a week. Damn, it may be over.
|
|
x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
x17 , 
x3