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Post by Yastreb on Feb 13, 2022 8:54:00 GMT
The scammer's name has been changed and his emails are date-stamped; my comments are in bold.
1 February Dear Friend,
Please read carefully.
I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail. I contact you independently and no one is informed of this communication. We can work together for our common good.
I am John Woo, Principal Assurance manager for the WING HANG BANK here in Hong Kong.I am getting in touch with you regarding the estate of a customer and an investment placed under our banks management 10 years ago.
In 2009, the subject matter came to our office to engage in business discussions with our private banking division. He informed us that he had a financial portfolio of $18.750 million United States dollars, which he wished to have us invest on his behalf.
However this money has not been claimed. On further enquiries we found out that he was involved in an accident in Mainland China , which means he died intestate, He has no next of kin.
What I propose is that since I have exclusive access to his file, you will be made the beneficiary of these funds. My bank will contact you informing you that money has been willed to you. On verification, which will be the details I make available to my bank, my bank will make payments to you. You do not have to have known him. I know this might be a bit heavy for you but please trust me on this. For all your troubles I propose that we split the money in half.
In the banking circle this happens every time. The other option is that the money will revert back to the state.Nobody is getting hurt, this is a lifetime opportunity for us. I hold the KEY to these funds, and as a Chinese National, we see so much cash and funds being re-assigned daily. I would want us to keep communication for now strictly by email.
Please, again, note I am a family man, I have a wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should act swiftly on this.
Please pardon my writing mistakes.
Please get back to me immediately to this email with your details as follows so we may discuss more on this.
1. Full Names
2. Complete Addresss
3. Telephone and fax number
4. Means of identification.
I await your response.
Regards
John Woo glen Campbell
I may have changed the name, but not the fact that the Lad had a very odd hybrid moniker!
Mr Woo
If you want an expert in investment, I'm not your man. I'm a retired US Marine.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
And... he didn't read Mal's reply; no surprises there. However, his name changed again.
2 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds.
Thank you for your response. I must say that I have enormous respect for you considering the manner in which I have made contact with you. We never know when life is about to shower us with good fortune,however we spend so much time wishing that life does.
My late customer happens to be Mr A.James.Let's move forward and see what we can achieve. You see someone close to me recently became ill and his medic examinations are about to be initiated. I have hurriedly put together this message. In everything one does with another, there must be a meeting of minds. In Latin, it's called consensus ad idem: Without us both seeing and assessing the situation through the same lenses there cannot and will never be success or progress. So as we say in Chinese thoroughness is what is needed here.I am a family man with 3 lovely children,a boy and two girls.
I need for you to obey my every instruction and do exactly as I say. You must let me direct this project for us to have success. This is non negotiable. It is when there is no leadership and no meeting of minds that there are problems. Everything is going to be done in sequence. I will imagine that the whole process should take about 2 weeks before the money will be in your nominated Bank Account. At this stage I have exclusive access to the files. I will be instructing a
Solicitor/Attorney in Hong Kong,China to prepare all the documents in your name.
This will then be put in my file and presented to my bank. It will be approved and then authorization given to my Bank to make payment to you. Please this is very important and your total commitment is what is desired. I will be speaking to you only and when necessary as this is a precaution. Most communication will be done via this email.
At this stage I am sure you have a lot of questions you want to ask. We are going to take this matter on a step-by-step basis. However something that I must point out to you at this stage is that there is no wrong on your part.
At the end of the day it is the Wing Hang Bank that will be contacting you to inform you that money has been left for you. You are not contacting the bank so you are doing absolutely nothing wrong or taking any risk. The only person who could have disputed this is long gone.
You must understand why there must be serious confidentiality about this whole process. Wing Hang Bank is a specialist bank, which deals with high net worth individuals and giant corporations. As soon as my Bank has gone through all formalities with you, they will make payments to you. This will be done through an Attorney as certain verification required by law have to be done.
As soon as I have made the necessary amendments you become the legal beneficiary and my Bank will get in contact with you immediately. My friend please let us be positive and show discretion as we both make one of the most fruitful steps of our lives. My spoken English is not too good,you will understand me more when I call you, please, send your complete details for the preparation of the required documents, the information needed are below.
Full Name
Address
Telephone Number
Occupation
A scan copy of your identification
I await your prompt response.
Regards,
John Potter Woo
Mr Woo
I need to make something clear to you; I do not do investment. You headed both of you emails with "I WANT TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY." Do you understand my point?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Looks like he didn't understand.
3 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I received your mail, you have nothing to worry about as I have mapped out the necessary plan to conclude this transaction without any question being asked, this is 100% risk free, the necessary documents you need for the claim of this fund will be prepared by an attorney here in Hong Kong and forward to you.
All I want you to please assure me is this, you will not let me down in this regard once the fund is in your possession as the beneficiary, and I have also fashioned out a way with which this transaction can be handled without any problems with your full cooperation and trust. I have been able to secure a fiduciary that will enable us to transact this business without many questions being asked. I will prepare the entire necessary document using an attorney here in Hong Kong, The attorney is the one that is going to write a letter and give to me and I will send you the letter you will send to the bank for the transfer of the said funds that is in Late Mr. Smith A. James account to your personal bank account in your country without much question being asked and you have to act very fast and also follow my instruction so that we can conclude this transaction.
I want you to know that this transaction is 100% risk free, so I would need you to provide me with the followings:
1, Your Full Names.
2, Your Address.
3, Tel/fax lines.
4, International passport or drivers license.
5, Occupation
With these details required documentation will be prepared in your name as the Next of kin to Late Mr. Smith A James $18.750 million USD, I really appreciate your concern.
As soon as I hear from you with the above information, we shall proceed and utilize this big opportunity God has given us and I want you to agree with me that after the 9/11 fiasco, one cannot just transfer huge amounts directly to any country like that without the due process.
As soon as I hear from you today with your information, I shall proceed and forward your details to the attorney for the documentation and also ask him for the letter you are going to send to the bank with the bank contact details so that we can proceed.
I have add you in my prayer from today and I know that God in his infinite mercies will help us through with this transaction
Thanks in anticipation.
John Woo
There was a lot that I could have gone into, such as referring to S11 as a "fiasco" rather than mass murder, but I chose to focus on his religiosity instead.
Mr Woo
I noticed these; "we shall proceed and utilize this big opportunity God has given us" and "I have add you in my prayer from today and I know that God in his infinite mercies will help us through with this transaction" - don't waste time in prayer. No-one is listening. There is no fate but what we make.
Malcolm Reynolds
5 February Dear Friend,
Thanks for your email, i have told you not to entertain any fear regarding the conclusion of this transaction, this is legitimate and i have map out means in which we are going to conclude this transaction and have the $18.75 Million USD in your possession, i will take care of the expenses to bring this transaction to conclusion, all i needed from you to carry out the obtaining of the entire documents you need for the claim is the below information.
Name
Address
Telephone
Occupation
A scan copy of your identity.
Once I have the above details from you, I will forward them to the lawyer that is going to prepare the documents in your Name and forward them to you to contact the bank with.
Best Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
Please explain what you mean by "a scan copy of your identity." I don't second guess.
Malcolm Reynolds
6 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, what I mean with a scan copy of your identity is a means of identification, drivers license, work ID card or passport.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
I don't have a driving license, I'm self-employed (so no work ID), and US passports can't be copied. I'm thinking about a workaround on that.
Malcolm Reynolds
But the Lad didn't insist on ID after all!
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, you can send the below information without ID card or international passport to enable the lawyer proceed and start the preparation of the documents needed for you to claim the fund.
Full Name
Address
City
State
Country
Telephone Number
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
As you wish, but I'm expecting you to spell out the complete process involved, start to finish.
Full Name
Malcolm Reynolds
Address
REDACTED
City
Alice Springs
State
Northern Territory
Country
Australia
Telephone Number
REDACTED
Malcolm Reynolds
To be continued.
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Post by Yastreb on Feb 16, 2022 0:43:02 GMT
9 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thank you very much for your email and information you provided, i write to let you know I can now confirm that I have actively commenced the search for an Attorney/Solicitor who would prepare all the Legal Documents that we would need to make you the Legal Beneficiary of the Late James's Estate of $18.750 Million USD, the attorney will commerce today and keep me updated.
I would be giving you a Daily update as I progress and I would expect you to ask me any question you might have as we go along.My good friend as I have said before I would once again like to stress the Importance of you keeping all communication between us on this Transaction Strictly Confidential.
I do not expect you to disclose any details to anyone as I do not want to get into any trouble here with my Bank. If you have any questions regarding anything concerning this Transaction you must come first to me so we can both work it out, this Transaction is strictly between you and I and we must keep it this way if we hope to succeed.
You must allow me to guide this Project to its end. I would expect you to follow my every instruction to the letter and be very diligent in whatever you are asked to do, I will be waiting for your update as soon as you receive this email with the content well fully noted.
Regards,
John Woo
10 February Dear Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, there is no problem over questions, i have arranged with the solicitor that is going to prepare the necessary documents you need to claim the $18.750 Million USD from Wing Hang Bank, he has charged me $7,500 USD to have the necessary documents obtain in your Name, i will have the payment available to the lawyer tomorrow, by Monday, he will obtain the documents and submit to the bank in your favor and then, the bank will make contact with you for the release of the fund to you as the beneficiary, i will keep you updated as soon as i have the payment available to the lawyer tomorrow.
Thank you very much for your understanding and cooperation regarding the conclusion of this transaction from your end as the beneficiary.
Regards,
John Woo
$7,500, huh? I wonder how much I'm supposed to pay later on?
Mr Woo
You wrote, "i have arranged with the solicitor that is going to prepare the necessary documents you need to claim the $18.750 Million USD from Wing Hang Bank, he has charged me $7,500 USD to have the necessary documents obtain in your Name" - what documents are these, and why would they cost so much?
Malcolm Reynolds
11 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thank you very much for your email sir, I write to let you know i have read your email, I want to say thank you for understanding me and keeping this transaction to heart.I told you earlier about a close family member that is ill so i have been attending to that issue,i have also paid the solicitor $7,500 to kick off with the obtaining of the POWER OF ATTORNEY, CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT and LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION documents in your Name to submit to the bank for the release of the $18.750 Million USD to you as the next of kin, so we are moving on,also will give you updates as soon as the documents are available on Monday and submitted to the Wing Hang Bank in your favor on Monday, acknowledge this email and let me know the content are okay.
Regards,
John Woo
Things are going too smoothly. It's time to throw sand in the gears.
Mr Woo
That shyster ripped you off, and no gorram mistake! A Power of Attorney is a bog-standard document that any paralegal could draw up, and the Deposit Certificate would be on file with the bank. That Letter of Administration would be the only oddball, but why would it have cost thousands of dollars?
Some things you said in your very first email I didn't respond to, but I'll deal with them now.
"I am a family man with 3 lovely children,a boy and two girls." I'm not a family man as such; I never married, but I have two daughters, both grown up now and living their own lives.
"My late customer happens to be Mr A.James" Tell me about Mr A.James. How he made the money, his origins, and so on.
"I need for you to obey my every instruction and do exactly as I say. You must let me direct this project for us to have success. This is non negotiable. It is when there is no leadership and no meeting of minds that there are problems." As I told you before, I served with the US Marine Corps. I followed orders, and I gave orders; I obeyed and was obeyed. But there's a difference here. You're not my commanding officer. You came to me seeking help. The dynamic is very different. Remember that.
Malcolm Reynolds
John Woo ignores Mal's questions (no surprise) and barrels on.
14 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Thanks for your email, the lawyer (Barrister Chin Long) has obtained the documents today and presented to the Wing Hang Bank of Hong Kong for the processing of the release of the $18.750 Million USD to you as the beneficiary, Barrister Chin Long said the Wing Hang Bank has already contacted you, please, check your email and follow the Wing Hang Bank instruction if you have received the bank message to enable us proceed, never you disclose to the bank i am with you in this project, this transaction must be kept secret to your self alone until we have this fund in your possession, when i receive copies of the three document from the lawyer later today, i shall scan them and send to you for record purposes, don't forget to always seek my advice in any area you do not understand to enable me guard you on what to do to avoid mistake.
Regards,
John Zhu
The banker enters the game... but ends up in spam. How unfortunate!
14 February Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
This bank acknowledged the documents in your Name from your lawyer Chin Long, the documents have been confirmed okay, please, fill out the bank processing form and return to this bank to enable the remittance and accounting department department proceed with the release of your $18.750 Million Dollars as the next of kin to Late Mr Smith A. James estate, if you cannot fill out the form attached to this email, you can provide the below information in format to enable us proceed as your documentation has been confirmed okay.
FULL NAME
ADDRESS
CITY
STATE
ZIP CODE
COUNTRY
TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
BANK NAME
BANK ADDRESS
ACCOUNT NUMBER
ROUTING NUMBER
SWIFT CODE
NAME ON ACCOUNT
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH
Regards,
Tian Long
WING HANG BANK HONG KONG
To be continued.
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Post by Admin on Feb 16, 2022 5:33:19 GMT
He can never say he didn't ask for it. This scammer seems to come from the old school as he's not asked for any fees in the first, second, third, ad nauseam, emails. He's in it for the long con.  |
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Post by Pricky on Feb 16, 2022 8:34:31 GMT
Bizarre.
He was an excellent guitarist, though...
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Post by Yastreb on Feb 16, 2022 8:48:42 GMT
You're not wrong. Here's his performance of Classical Gas with full orchestral backing.
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Post by Yastreb on Feb 19, 2022 13:01:28 GMT
Mal throws sand in the gears again (emphasis in original).
Mr Zhu I guess you don't care that your shyster ripped you off. Maybe it's a Chinese thing. It ain't my way. I've seen enough casual corruption in my tours of duty; bribes, backhanders, thankful money, brown envelopes... you know what I mean, right?
Now, on to something else; I raised this point.
"My late customer happens to be Mr A.James" Tell me about Mr A.James. How he made the money, his origins, and so on.
You ignored me.
Do not ignore me again.
Because nothing will happen until you address that issue.
Malcolm Reynolds
15 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, Mr. Smith A. James made his money from contract with Hong Kong government by suppliers heavy duty vehicle and constructions of roads and infrastructure here in Hong Kong, Mr. Smith A. James is a citizen of United States of America, he was involved in car accident that claims his life and his wife, this fund has been in the bank for more than a decade sir, i don't want the bank to keep hold of the fund to them self, i decided to prepare the documents in your Name as the next of kin to this fund to enable the bank transfer the fund to you, the bank has already contacted you, i need you to keep me posted with a copy of email you received from the bank to enable me know what to advise you on next.
Regards,
John Woo
Bad news!
Mr Woo
The bank hasn't contacted me.
Malcolm Reynolds
16 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
The lawyer that prepared the documents and also presented your complete file to the bank said, the has contacted you and they have also forwarded the message they sent you earlier back to you, please, check your email properly and keep me posted with a copy of message they forwarded to you to enable me know what to advise you on next.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
What do you mean "Check your email properly"? Don't be so gorram condescending (as in, don't talk down to me)!
Malcolm Reynolds
To be continued!
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Post by Yastreb on Feb 24, 2022 23:47:06 GMT
17 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, the lawyer said the bank has contacted you twice before now and they have also sent you another email again today.
Regards,
John Woo
Finally, the wanker's banker's message makes it to my inbox rather than spam. Attached was a bank form that I won't be filling out.
17 February Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
This bank acknowledged the documents in your Name from your lawyer Chin Long, the documents have been confirmed okay, please, fill out the bank processing form and return to this bank to enable the remittance and accounting department department proceed with the release of your $18.750 Million Dollars as the next of kin to Late Mr Smith A. James estate, if you cannot fill out the form attached to this email, you can provide the below information in format to enable us proceed as your documentation has been confirmed okay.
FULL NAME
ADDRESS
CITY
STATE
ZIP CODE
COUNTRY
TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
BANK NAME
BANK ADDRESS
ACCOUNT NUMBER
ROUTING NUMBER
SWIFT CODE
NAME ON ACCOUNT
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH
Regards,
Tian Long
Mr Long
Good to hear from you at last.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
I forwarded the banker's email to John Woo.
Mr Woo
Long finally deigned to get in touch. FYI this isn't the third email he sent, it's the first.
Malcolm Reynolds
They're synchronised, that's for sure.
21 February Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
This bank will acknowledge your email, provide the information below in format or fill the form sent to you previously to enable the remittance department to proceed and serve you better as an esteemed customer.
FULL NAME
ADDRESS
CITY
STATE
ZIP CODE
COUNTRY
TELEPHONE NUMBER
OCCUPATION
BANK NAME
BANK ADDRESS
ACCOUNT NUMBER
ROUTING NUMBER
SWIFT CODE
NAME ON ACCOUNT
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH
Regards,
Tian Long
21 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thank you very much for your email, please, go ahead and fill out with the below information in the area you do not understand and submit to the bank to enable them proceed.
Country of Origin is Hong Kong
Insurance certificate number is REDACTED
Customer identification umber is REDACTED
Type of description is Inheritance
Purpose of payment is beneficiary
Prefer method of payment is Bank to bank wire transfer.
I will be looking forward to your update as soon as you fill out the form and submit to the bank onward transfer of the fund to you.
Regards,
John Woo
So Mal replies with the info the bank asked for, but not the details John Woo supplied... or his passport...
Mr Long
FULL NAME Malcolm Paul Reynolds
ADDRESS REDACTED
CITY REDACTED
STATE REDACTED
ZIP CODE REDACTED
COUNTRY Australia
TELEPHONE NUMBER REDACTED
OCCUPATION REDACTED
BANK NAME REDACTED
BANK ADDRESS REDACTED
ACCOUNT NUMBER REDACTED
ROUTING NUMBER REDACTED
SWIFT CODE REDACTED
NAME ON ACCOUNT REDACTED
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY Please explain this
A SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH Not currently available
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
To be continued.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 2, 2022 0:41:33 GMT
22 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I am waiting for your update sir with the conclusion of our transaction with wing hang bank to enable the release of our $18.750 million US Dollars into your account as the beneficiary.
John Woo
Mal's reply was terse.
Mr Woo
You'll get it.
Malcolm Reynolds
The banker gets in touch with "good news."
23 February Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
The content of your email along with your account information are well noted, check your email attachment for a scan copy of the transfer slip of your fund, the accounting and remittance department have concluded the transfer of your $18.750 million US Dollars to your bank account today 23rd of February 2022 and the fund will take three working days before the fund will reflect in your bank account you provided, you have to check with your account on the 28th of February 2022 and the fund will reflect by then in your account, acknowledge this email and let this bank know the content are well noted.
Regards,
Tian Long
Mal forwards the "good news" to Woo.
Mr Woo
I said you'd get it.
Malcolm Reynolds
24 February Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, I am glad with this great good news from you, i will be looking forward to your update as soon as the fund reflects in your account to enable me to forward to you my account information for my share of 50% of the total fund as planned.
Regards,
John Woo
And then the bad news...
28 February Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
The content of your email are well noted, we are sorry to inform you with the attached STOP ORDER from the Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA) please you have to act very fast by providing the ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE and if you don't have it, let me ask this bank legal department to assist you in making inquiry on how to obtain one in your favor or send you one of the accredited lawyer here in Hong Kong to help you in obtaining it.
Regards,
Tian Long
Mal forwards the message to Woo.
Mr Woo Did you know about this? Or expect it?
Malcolm Reynolds
1 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I am in receipt of your email, i am really devastated with this message from the bank, we don't have the anti terrorist drug clearance certificate, it will be better you ask the bank to forward to you one of the accredited attorney to the authority to assist us in obati ning the certificate to enable the hold placed on our transfer remove and have our fund reflect in your account, i will be looking forward to your update as soon as you request for the contact details of the accredited attorney from wing hang bank.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Long
Please do what's needed.
Also; why do I have to "act very fast"? What time constraints apply here?
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Woo
I ask again; did you know about that? And what is this "ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE" anyway?
Malcolm Reynolds
1 March Attention: Malcolm Reynolds ,
The content of your email are well noted, below is the contact details of the accredited attorney to Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA) that can assist you in obtaining the Anti Terrorist Drug Clearance Certificate for the removal of the HOLD placed on your transfer and reflect in your account as the next of kin.
Below you will find one of the accredited attorney Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA).
NAME: CHI LONG ESQ
DIRECT TEL: REDACTED
E-MAIL: REDACTED
Regards,
Tian Long
1 March (sent twice) Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I did not know they will request for the Anti Terrorist Drug and Money Laundry Clearance Certificate, but i know of this certificate, its always requested to enable the fund free from terrorist and drug act, it is because the fund was coming outside your County that is why the transfer attrcted the authority and they demanded for this clearance certificate to enable them allow the fund release into your account and also to enable them know the fund is not going to use for terrirism and drug activities, please, contact the bank to forward to you any of the accredited attorney conytaxt entails that can assist us in obtaining this certificate to enable the release of the fund into your account by removing the hold [laced on your transfer, please, contact the lawyer as soon as you contact the bank to get you the contact details of any of the accredited lawyer that can assist us in obtaining this.
God bless you,
John Woo
Mal will contact the "accredited attorney" in due time.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 4, 2022 1:10:08 GMT
I duly waited a couple of days to write to the barrister.
ATTN: CHI LONG ESQ
I've been told to contact you WRT acquiring an Anti Terrorist Drug Clearance Certificate; see below for the details.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
3 March (sent twice)
REDACTED
REDACTED,
REDACTED
DIRECT TEL: REDACTED
E-MAIL: REDACTED
OUR REF: REDACTED
YOUR REF: REDACTED
Cc: Pan Long
Administrative Department
Case Reviewer
ATTENTION: Malcolm Reynolds
Dear Sir,
This chamber acknowledges your email, we have obtained the form you are to fill and submit back to this chamber to enable us proceed and use the form to file for the issuing of the Anti Terrorist Drug Clearance Certificate from Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA).
Best Regards,
Barrister Chi Long
Trivia note; for all the Lads except "John Woo," I've substituted the names of Chinese dragons.
I forwarded the barrister's email to "John Woo."
Mr Woo
FYI.
Malcolm Reynolds
He's very happy...
4 March
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email from the lawyer sir, please, go ahead and fill out the form or send the information in format to the lawyer to enable him to proceed.
Regards,
John Woo
But maybe not for long! Something ain't right!
Mr Woo
Something about that form caught my eye; it says it's an "Anti-Terrorist Drug Clearance Certificate Form." Nothing about Anti-Money Laundry! They specified that when they told me about the Stop Order, but not any longer; why is that?
Malcolm Reynolds
Something a little more confrontational for the "banker" (I cc'd the "barrister").
Mr Long
You told me that the STOP ORDER could only be removed by obtaining an "ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDRY CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE", and the STOP ORDER said that as well.
However, Barrister Chi Long now says that an "Anti Terrorist Drug Clearance Certificate" is needed, which contradicts the STOP ORDER.
This is a clear contradiction, and contradictions should not exist. Check your premises, you'll find one of them is wrong! Which is it?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 6, 2022 11:12:55 GMT
Apparently there is no contradiction! And they're unanimous!
4 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, this is the form you where asked to fill to enable them have your details for the issuance of the anti terrorist drug and money laundry clearance certificate, the certiicate will indicate the full name of the requirement, please, fill the form and submit to them and let them procd sir.
Regards,
John Woo
4 March ATTENTION: Malcolm Reynolds
Dear Sir,
This chamber acknowledges your email and the observation are well fully noted, the form is not the certificate, the form is to apply for the certificate, the certificate will be issue as Anti Terrorist, Drug Law & Money Laundering Clearance Certificate, and this is how it is issued sir, you have noting to worry about, your information is the delay we are having to get the certificate obtain.
Best Regards,
Barrister Chi Long
4 March Attention: Malcolm Reynolds ,
The content of your email are well noted sir, with due respect sir, the Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA) will not issue wrong certificate and all clearance certificate for huge amount to reflect into his designation bank account from removing the hold placed on it is Anti Terrorist, Drug Law & Money Laundering Clearance Certificate, they will not issue anything outside this very above Name sir.
Regards,
Tian Long
WING HANG BANK HONG KONG
I'd better send the form... ... Eventually.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 15, 2022 0:00:34 GMT
The form remains unsent, and Mr Woo is showing some impatience.
7 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
How are you today? Hope fine.
I am waiting for your update sir with the development and arrangement from your end bringing our transaction with wing hang bank to conclusion, please, keep me posted as soon as possible.
God bless you,
John Woo
Time for a curve ball (or a googly, depending on your preferred sport).
Mr Woo
Now here's something mighty interesting. I was at my bank just today, because I wanted to make some arrangements WRT my finances in case of any fallout (no pun intended) from events in Ukraine. After some questions about what I thought about the war (I'm considered an SMLE on that subject), and when the whole business was wrapped up, I decided to ask about Anti-Drug and Anti-Terrorist and Money Laundry Certificates.
Mr Galbraith seemed sorta concerned about why I'd asked, and from his reaction, I'd touched a nerve. I backed off a little, but he asked, has anyone asked me to help move money from overseas to my account? Have they asked for money to provide these certificates? I didn't have an answer, so he told me that I could be in danger from scammers and swindlers, and to be very careful.
Now Darren Galbraith is someone I've known for some years. I've drunk beer with him. I've visited his house. I know his family well. He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't play me false.
Anything to say?
Malcolm Reynolds
8 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I dont doubt people sir, every one has his or her opinion toward issues, the rules and regulation right now after the 9/11, you must provide such certificate before you can move fund from one county to another when the fund is more than $1 million US Dollars, i also told you when we started the conversation of having this transaction concluded never to discus the content of this transaction with any one to avoid inconveniences in having this transaction concluded, some might discourage and some will give the right advise, as for me, i dont discus my business with any one and not even my wife, i like surprises, when the fund is available with me, then i can discus the source, this is not what i expected from you at this time, i was hoping you might have furnish the information to the lawyer and update me of the development from the lawyer, i will be very happy if you can just keep the conclusion of this transaction to your self and let us put the devil to shame and utilize this great opportunity God has given us, i trusted you and i expected same trust from you, i dont like people with negative thinkig, i am always positive in everything i am doing in life, please and please, trust me the same way i have trusted you and let achieve this opportunity and have a better future together, please, i need you to assure me this will not happen again, never you discus the content of our transaction with any one, i am beggining to have fear our fund might not be save in your possession, please, let us work in the way of God and remain comitted to each other, if you want to disus this transaction has to be with me or the lawyer or the bank alone sir.
God bless you,
John Woo
Mr Woo
Let's break this down.
"i also told you when we started the conversation of having this transaction concluded never to discus the content of this transaction with any one to avoid inconveniences" - like my being warned, perhaps? Isolating people is a tactic used by more than abusers, just saying.
"let us put the devil to shame and utilize this great opportunity God has given us" - there is no devil and there is no God, not as humans imagine. There is no fate but what we make.
"i dont like people with negative thinkig, i am always positive in everything i am doing in life" - my career as a Marine makes me prone to considering worse-case scenarios. People who are always positive are starry-eyed fools or guileless innocents. I'm neither of those.
"i trusted you and i expected same trust from you... please and please, trust me the same way i have trusted you" - now here's the thing, Bubba-Louie. I don't know if I can trust you.
Let's assume that Mr Galbraith is wrong about you being a scammer; there's another possibility to consider. Namely that you are planning to have me claim the money, then take it yourself and leave a false trail leading to me, and while the LEOs are focussed on me, you make your escape.
It sounds plausible, doesn't it?
Malcolm Reynolds
The Lad is trying hard, I'll give him that.
9 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, there is no risk involved in claiming this fund, all documentation are in your Name and they have been confirmed by the bank and the financial authority okay and legal sir, all that is holding us back is the clearance certificate for the hold placed on the transfer remove and have the fund reflect into your account, you have nothing to worry about, i can send you my utility bill and my passport to keep with yourself just to make you understand we have nothing to worry about sir, please, have the information the lawyer demanded from you send to him and let him proceed.
God bless you,
John Woo
Mr Woo
"all documentation are in your Name" - EXACTLY! Under the alternate scenario, that is exactly what you wanted to happen; the confirmation by the bank and the financial authority is the icing on the cake.
"all that is holding us back is the clearance certificate" - Under both scenarios, that's just what you'd say; whether to defraud me or to set me up as your pasty.
"i can send you my utility bill and my passport" - Which would prove what exactly?
Malcolm Reynolds
The banker Lad buys in.
9 March Attention: Malcolm Reynolds ,
The conclusion of your transaction with this bank is needed by providing the requirement needed to have your fund release into your account, your urgent response to this email is needed to avoid confiscation of the fund to government reserve treasuring.
Regards,
Tian Long
WING HANG BANK HONG KONG
Will threats work where blandishments have failed? Wait and see!
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 16, 2022 3:51:09 GMT
10 March
Dear Malcolm Reynolds, Sir, this is not what i am expecting from you, this is huge amount of money transaction and i will not standing here to be receiving messages that is not contributing to the success of this transaction, what do you want from me to enable you know this is 100% risk free and there is nothing to worry about? do you realize that the authority gave us 154 days to have the clearance certificate obtain and present for the removal of the hod placed on the transfer, i am not here to be exchanging words with you, all i needed is the conclusion of this transaction, i am sick and tired of the way of manner from your end in bringing this transaction to conclusion.
Regards,
John Woo
11 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
How are you and your entire family today? Hope fine.
I am waiting for your update sir with the development and arrangement from your end in bringing our transaction with wing hang bank to conclusion and have our $18.750 million in your possession as the beneficiary, do keep me posted as soon as possible.
God bless you,
John Woo
Now for something that always stumps Lads.
Mr Woo
There's something else that struck me that I should have thought about earlier; namely, what's keeping the IRS from reaming me raw if I accept the money?
Malcolm Reynolds
With no reply for three days, I give him a nudge.
Mr Woo
Anything else you might want to say?
Malcolm Reynolds
The banker Lad was first to react.
14 March Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
The conclusion of your transaction with this bank is needed by providing the necessary requirement needed for the release of your fund into your account, acknowledge this email and keep this bank updated.
Regards,
Tian Long
A quick brush-off will suffice.
Mr Long
I have no news for you; that's why I haven't written.
Malcolm Reynolds
And John Woo, predictably, chooses to brush aside the IRS...
14 March
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, the IRS is not an issue because the requirement will be meet which is the documentation we have already obtain and it has been confirmed okay by the bank, all we need at this point is the clearance certificate demanded by the authority to show the fund is free from use for terrorism and drug law, please, cooperate with the accredited attorney and let him assist us in obtaining this certificate for the removal of the hold placed on the transfer and have the fund release into your account, this is 100% risk fee and legitimate transaction sir, you have noting to worry about, i am here to guard the conclusion of this transaction until the fund get to your account.
Regards,
John Woo
... Unsuccessfully.
Mr Woo
You're either being incredibly guileless or optimistic; "the IRS is not an issue because the requirement will be meet which is the documentation we have already obtain and it has been confirmed okay by the bank" - so the bank can rewrite my family tree and make all the records at DoD somehow fall into line?
Which reminds me; something you sent a while back..."My bank will contact you informing you that money has been willed to you" - here's the thing; I haven't seen a will at any time. So where is this will?
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 17, 2022 23:41:30 GMT
16 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
The bank contacted you and confirmed to you all the documents they received in your favor was confirmed okay and that was why the bank contacted you and make the transfer before the transfer was placed on hold sir, please, communicate with the lawyer and let us have the clearance certificate obtain and have this fund release into your account sir as the next of kin to this fund.
Regards,
John Woo
The subtext to that message was "Just do as you're told!"
On the other hand, there's no subtext with Mal's reply. It's all on the surface. By the way, "the real McKay" is just a small piece of de-education.
Mr Woo
I don't give a flying fuck if "the bank confirmed... all the documents they received in your favor was confirmed okay." The bank ain't the IRS. I've faced death and worse on the battlefield, but I'm not ready to take on the IRS. No-one with any sanity remaining would want to take on the IRS. And you want to handwave the problem.
If you're the real McKay, you'd want to put things in order, but you don't, and that's all but suicidal, because if anything happens to me, you go down as well. I'd go to a Federal prison, but you would be shot in the back of the head.
Malcolm Reynolds
Same day (they are really in lockstep), the bank chimes in again.
16 March Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
The content of your email are well noted, there is no way the fund can be release without the anti terrorist drug law and money laundering clearance certificate, if really you need your fund as the next of kin and you also know the important of the fund to you, i dont think you will be having issue having the required certificate obtain for the release of the fund into your account, there is nothing this bank can possibly do without the required clearance certificate.
Regards,
Tian Long
Mr Long
I have no news for you; that's why I haven't written.
Malcolm Reynolds
16 March
Attention: Malcolm Reynolds,
The content of your email are well noted.
Regards,
Tian Long
The subtext to that message was "Just get on with it!" Oh, I will; in my own way.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 18, 2022 12:53:09 GMT
"John Woo" has a brilliant idea!
16 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I want you to please contact the lawyer and ask him to help us to verify how we can have the IRS certificate obtained to avoid any inconveniences as you have pointed out and keep me posted.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
"IRS Certificate?" What are you talking about?
Malcolm Reynolds
17 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
The IRS means International revenue Service, i asked you to contact the lawyer and ask him to help us verify on how we can get the IRS approval and after that, there will be a document from the IRS to enable the authority know the fund is genuine.
Regards,
John Woo
If he's going to be so patronising, I'm going for the jugular.
Mr Woo
Are you being deliberately stupid? Or are you actually as ignorant as that email suggests?
Malcolm Reynolds
The Lad apparently takes that on the chin.
17 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, the IRS will be pay from the total fund once the fund is release into your account, the IRS will calculate and tell us the amount or the percentage they will deduct from the total fund which will not be more than 20% of the total fund, please, get in touch with the lawyer and proceed with the obtaining of the clearance certificate to enable us proceed and finalize this transaction.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo I'll assume that you're stupid, so I'll keep this simple.
I am not talking about tax. I am talking about how the IRS will want to know how I earned the money. Now, you and I both know that I am not truly the next of kin of Mr. Smith A. James. That means that I would in big trouble if the IRS found that out. The point is that the IRS must not find this out. The only way that the IRS would not find out is if there's a will leaving me that money. So where is the will?
Malcolm Reynolds
Now he's pushing the boundaries of idiocy. Really.
18 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, can you please come straight and tell me what and what you need to prove to the IRS you are the original beneficiary to the fund, i am waiting for your update to enable me furnish them to you.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
I have told you already what's needed. I have told you twice what's needed. I told you what's needed in my last email to you. Just read it, and understand. And if you don't understand, this deal is over.
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 19, 2022 8:33:07 GMT
Seriously, dude?
18 March
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I have gone through my email and i cannot find the requirement you are talking about sir, please, it will not take you anything to re-confirm to me what is needed and let us conclude this transaction as soon as possible.
Regards,
John Woo
Mal's incredulity spikes.
Mr Woo
Now I know for certain that you are stupid. QAnon believer stupid.
I wrote this.
"The only way that the IRS would not find out is if there's a will leaving me that money. So where is the will?"
And you missed that. You are stupid.
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 21, 2022 11:48:09 GMT
"John Woo" took Mal's rebuke on the chin.
19 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email sir, i will have the Will sent to you on Monday sir.
God bless you,
John Woo
Mal was incredulous.
Mr Woo
You mean you actually had the will all the time?
Malcolm Reynolds
And on Monday, it arrived!
21 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your email, check your email attachment for the Will and proceed to finalize with the layer on how and when we will be having the clearance certificate to remove the hold placed on the transfer and have our fund released into your account as the beneficiary.
Regards,
John Woo
However... we have problem, we have problem.
Mr Woo
Whoever drew up that will was a clairvoyant. Nice try, Bubba-Louie, but as the Eskimo told the ice-box salesman, I ain't buying it.
Malcolm Reynolds
You will know what was wrong with it when Mal tells the Lad.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 25, 2022 0:00:32 GMT
I think I baffled "John Woo", because he went minimalist.
22 March Noted.
Mr Woo
You want to explain how a will created in 2009 gave my address as a place I didn't move to until 2012? I'd really like to know.
Malcolm Reynolds
He's not happy about that. A lengthy whinge came back. Note the classic opening line, and the dodgy justification.
23 March Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Why are you sounding like a baby? the Will has been edited to your information to enable you lay claim to the fund and the fund will be released to you without any issue sir, i have explained all this to you time without number, you still keep asking questions as if you were not told by me the ethics and the procedure in having this transaction concluded, if you could just listen to me and follow my instruction, this transaction should have been concluded long ago and have the fund in your possession.
Regards,
John Woo
Mr Woo
Why are you sounding defensive? I can guess why. That will is a fake. The IRS wouldn't accept it. Whatever your game is, Bubba-Louie, it's over.
Malcolm Reynolds
I thought I'd broken "John Woo", because he went minimalist again; so did I for a while.
23 March Noted.
Good.
24 March OK
Ciao!
24 March OK.
If you want the last word... just say so.
24 March Noted.
Was that a yes, you want the last word?
So he thinks I'll just do as he wants after all that?
25 March Please, fill out the form you received from the lawyer and return back to the lawyer and let us proceed.
I'll give you one chance. Produce the original unedited will. The one that shows the address where I was living in 2009.
I've set him an impossible task, but let's see if he gives up, or tries another tack.
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 25, 2022 22:15:35 GMT
He hasn't given up... yet.
25 March Provide your address of the p[lace you where living 2009 and let the lawyer use the address to edit the Will.
Mr Woo
You mean you want my help in producing a forged will. I guess you're not afraid to fly your colors openly.
Malcolm Reynolds
After that, the emails came and went thick and fast; all that followed took place in about an hour.
25 March provide your address of 2009 and stop acting like a baby.
OK, gloves off.
How about you stop behaving like a fucking idiot?
He's unfazed.
25 March I am waiting for your address of 2009.
It'll be a cold day in Hell, with Satan going snowboarding, before I do that.
25 March Okay.
You do understand my point, don't you?
25 March I just told you to provide the address of 2009 and let the lawyer have the original Will with the address of 2009 present to you as you have requested.
I'd actually demanded the unedited will.
Do you think that repeating yourself over and over will make me believe you?
I wonder if the Lad was using juju, or maybe NLP, at that point.
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x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
4 Gold Pith Helmets. 83 Safaris. Abidjan-Bouake/Belgium-UK/B'ham–Liskeard/B'ham-Looe/Cambridge-Looe/CdI-Ghana/Ekpoma-Kano/France-UK x2/Ghana-RoB x4/Ghana–CdI x4/Ghana-Chad/Ghana–Nigeria x2/Ghana-UK/Lagos-Pt Hct/London-York x2/London–Plymouth x10/London–Looe x6/London-Liskeard x3/London–Rame Head x19/Mali-CdI x2/Manchester-Looe x2/Manchester-Plymouth x1/N'lands-UK x3/Nigeria-RoB x2/Nigeria–CdI x3/Nigeria–Ghana x2/Nigeria–Liberia/Örebro-Malmö/PortoNovo-Parakou/RoI-UK x2/Togo-Nigeria