Don The Drug Mule and his Bitchcoin Bitchiness

Sup mugus!? This is my plug Don. He's my go to guy for strains and gains. When I need me some herb, my boy always comes through for a brotha. (These guys are what I refer to as "plug" scams. They operate out of Cameroon and pose as internet drug dealers.")

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The first thing I do with these particular scammers is to make them fill out a "I aint a cop" waiver form. This stems from an old wive's tale in the United States that law enforcement officers who are running sting operations have to admit if they're law enforcement when asked. This is not true of course, but it's a common enough rumor that I am able to act as if I need the contract signed. At first, this scammer was being a lazy chungus, but I goaded him into proving he wasnt a cop by bombarding him with police siren gifs - including one from Spongebob. I also got him to write a document stating that he wasnt a scammer, with some mildly suggestive undertones.


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After The the amount of cheddar I needed to pay was decided on, this absolute computer NERD wanted sum bitchcoins. Frustrating to me since my mugu self is too stupid and my mugu-acity is so stupendously high, I couldn't even figure out how to open the wallet! Listen to a compilation of those calls here: (note, we argue about other stupid little issues as well, such as PayPal, scanners, etc.)





Eventually, my boy Don gave up on BTC and settled for PayPal, but alas, that pesky nuisance hacker of mine struck again and swiped the payment. This meant we were back to square one - Bitcoin.

T'was the day of the payment, and everything stirred, especially Don's Temper as he had to walk me through the process of using a BTC ATM. Listen here:





Finally, despite my magadacity, I was able to "send" the money. I used a fake BTC slip generator to create the receipt. Very quick and easy!



Regardless of the receipt, I very quickly received this call from Don in regards to his payment:





Oh well... I guess we would just have to try again another day.

This concludes part 1. In part 2, we'll go over a short collab I did with Mistress Scambait and Captain Nigeria! Hint: there's quite a bit of cussing in it!