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Post by Yastreb on Apr 23, 2022 0:47:08 GMT
Some scammers can't think outside the box. Here's a classic example.
Scammer names have been changed (and one of them has been gender-reassigned); their emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
13 April
Hello Friend,
This is Ms.Helen Demidenko from Ukraine, due to the ongoing Russia predicament in my country. I would like to move out some funds to you and join later with you for business partnership in your country.
Hope to receive your positive response soon.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenko
Ms Demidenko
I'm not a businessman; I'm a retired US Marine. If this is an issue, I'm sorry.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
It's not uncommon to get a reply that takes your assent as given. Incidentally, "Demidenk" ain't a misprint. It's how "she" wrote it.
14 April Dear Malcolm Reynold
The $10million was kept with in courier delivery service in Spain, so you are going to receive the $10million through courier delivery services. This is the arrangement. Bank to bank transfer will not be good for us for security reasons and meanwhile the funds is not in the bank.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
15 April Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Thanks for your urgent reply. All this being equal I have started making arrangement on how you are going to receive the funds and the to total amount is $10million, first if after you receive the $10million and you are sincere and honest with me, then I will open up to you, there is more millions on the pipe line
Hope to receive your positive response soon.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Usually scammers take heed when I call them out on unwarranted acceptance. This one hasn't. I'll try to get "her" attention.
Ms Demidenko
Please don't ignore the issues I raise. You'll get nowhere if you do that.
Malcolm Reynolds
The "consignment box" is actually a suitcase that looks like a prop from a thriller movie.
16 April Dear Malcolm Reynolds
This is the picture of one of the consignment box when it was open before it was moved to courier delivery services Spain. For your information one consignment is in Spain and other box is in Holland.
And also the courier delivery services did not know that the consignment contain raw cash, all they know was the box contains diplomatic persona effects.
If you can not be able to travel any of this two countries and put claim to the consignment box, Alternatively the courier delivery services will indeed deliver the consignment to your country. This is the arrangement I have made with the courier.
Hope to receive your positive response soon.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Ms Demidenko
Once again; please don't ignore the issues I raise. You'll get nowhere if you do that.
Additional; I'm not able to go to Spain or Holland. And millions in cash? That's a recipe for disaster.
Malcolm Reynolds
17 April Dear Malcolm Reynolds
The immunity diplomatic coverage of this consignment has been procured, so to deliver the consignment to you in your country will be very smooth, is that clear and understood. Immediately .the Easter holiday is over I will get in touch with the courier delivery services for them to contact you for onward delivery of the consignment to you in your country.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Ms Demidenko
Did you inherit your money? Because you're not thinking clearly!
Malcolm Reynolds
20 April
Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Your mail was well noted and understood. Meanwhile i have informed the courier delivery service and they will be contacting soon in respect of the delivery of the consignment to you.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Ms Demidenko "Well noted and understood" my aching backside!
Malcolm Reynolds
There may be another scammer in this plot. The header had a dozen photos attached. Colours and bolding are in the original.
21 April INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY
Street: Coppelstockstraat 96
City: Amsterdam
State/province/area: Noord- Holland
Email: REDACTED
ATTENTION : MALCOLM REYNOLDS
DEAR SIR,
YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX TAGGED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND GUARANTY BOND THAT WAS KEPT IN OUR SECURITY VAULT, HAS BEEN MOVED TO SCHIPHOL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT AMSTERDAM FOR ONWARD DELIVERY TO YOU, BY OUR ACCREDITED ASSIGNED DELIVERY AGENT. MEANWHILE BEFORE OUR DELIVERY AGENT WILL PROCEED TO YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR PARTNER,THE DEPOSITOR OF THE CONSIGNMENT MS HELEN DEMIDENKO TOLD US THAT HIS REPRESENTATIVE MUST BE READY TO COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY.
MEANWHILE HE IS THE ONE THAT WILL PICK UP THE CONSIGNMENT FROM OUR DELIVERY AGENT FOR ONWARD DELIVERY TO YOUR DOOR STEP, BASE ON OUR ARRANGEMENT AND AGREEMENT WITH YOUR PARTNER (MS HELEN DEMIDENKO). BASICALLY WE ARE WAITING TO HEAR FURTHER UPDATE FROM YOUR PARTNER THAT HIS REPRESENTATIVE IS READY, AS SOON AS THAT IS DONE, OUR DELIVERY WILL FLY OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY WITH YOUR CONSIGNMENT FOR ONWARD DELIVERY TO YOU.
MRS JANE STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
Mrs Starnes
You may have an agreement with Helen Demidenko, but I don't, at least not yet. I'm awaiting her eventual understanding of the realities. Until then, your representative need do nothing.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
22 April Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Thanks for the update. Having said that, the courier delivery services have indeed obtain the IMMUNITY COVERAGE of the consignment, so there is no cause for alarm the consignment will be delivered to you without any problem along the line. Just get yourself ready to receive the consignment from the delivery agent. I will also inform you when my representative is ready to come over to your country.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
This is tedious. So I pasted in the text of The Grand Panjandrum by Samuel Foote.
It's a piece of nonsense verse written to test the memory of an actor who claimed he could read any paragraph once through and then recite it verbatim.
Ms Demidenko
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf to make an apple-pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street, pops its head into the shop. "What! No soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Joblillies, and the Garyulies, and the grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch-as-catch-can till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.
Malcolm Reynolds
I don't know if that will break through. I'll let y'all know.
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Post by Yastreb on Apr 27, 2022 12:37:31 GMT
Samuel Foote didn't break through.
27 April Dear Malcolm Reynolds
My representative said I should give him, little time, so that he will get ready and come over to your country, and I will inform the courier delivery services will deliver the consignment to you immediately.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Never mind. I've got plenty of nonsense to send him still.
Recipes for the brewing of pleasant beverages. Peril for the sanity he had taught her, for the year. All Mahomet’s uncles took part in the sacrilegious no he has not done you justice, my dear lady clonbrony! And who gain victories in battle, become foremost a sorry spectacle as we walked shamefacedly back up for what people are pleased to call their little she had not yet been missed. Very rapidly the when the town surrendered to Philip augustus.it had been slain by the foe, all thy troops, stupefied in the bedi would tell you more, but i cannot.' dhatri and vidhatri who have thus clouded thy forest or field, bending his back to the same smile hovered upon the lips of the third doctor, not be formed. One that is covetous, one that of karna himself on that occasion of our match verneuil, a rickety affair drawn by an emaciated tom. That Mr. Carter ain't as smart as he thinks an asylum on purpose for impoverished or insane own celestial weapons checked all the celestial.
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Post by Yastreb on May 2, 2022 5:02:38 GMT
Back with the same formatting and colour scheme...
29 April INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY
Street: Coppelstockstraat 96
City: Amsterdam
State/province/area: Noord- Holland
Email: REDACTED
ATTENTION : MALCOLM REYNOLDS
DEAR SIR,
FOR YOUR EXPRESS INFORMATION WE HAVE SOME CONSIGNMENTS THAT WE WANT TO DELIVER TO USA TO NIGHT AND WE HAVE INCLUDED YOUR CONSIGNMENT TAGGED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND GUARANTY AMONG THE CONSIGNMENTS FOR DELIVERY TO USA.
APPARENTLY, WE HAVE ALSO INFORMED YOUR PARTNER THE DEPOSITOR MS HELEN DEMIDENKO THE LATEST DEVELOPMENT, AND WE SAID WE MUST ALSO INFORM YOU AS THE RECIPIENT , AS A MATTER OF POLICY AND DUE PROCESS IN RESPECT OF CONSIGNMENT DELIVERY TO ALL OUR CLIENTS.
MRS JANE STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
MRS STARNES
I HAVE MADE NO AGREEMENT WITH HELEN DEMIDENKO. SHE IS NOT MY PARTNER.
MALCOLM REYNOLDS
Mrs Starnes has gone mobile!
1 May INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY
Al Qusais . Industrial Area-3
Dubai – UAE
Email: REDACTED
DEAR SIR,
OUR ACCREDITED ASSIGNED DELIVERY AGENT HAS ARRIVED WASHINGTON DC UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WITH YOUR CONSIGNMENT TAGGED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS AND GUARANTY BOND. HOWEVER, HE CAME TO USA WITH A LOT OF CONSIGNMENT AS SOON AS IT GETS TO YOUR TURN, HE WILL CONTACT YOU AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM THE HANDLING CHARGES /CLEARING FEES $4,750 TO ENABLE HIM CLEAR THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE SECURITY VAULT AND FURTHER DELIVER TO YOU.
PLEASE KINDLY GIVE US YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE TO ENABLE OUR ACCREDITED ASSIGNED DELIVERY AGENT CONTACT YOU IMMEDIATELY IT GETS TO YOUR TURN TO RECEIVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT.
MRS JANE STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
MRS STARNES
I AM NOT IN AMERICA.
MALCOLM REYNOLDS
How long will they persist? Any guesses?
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Post by Yastreb on May 4, 2022 1:59:20 GMT
Now they're paying attention!
3 May
INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY
Al Qusais . Industrial Area-3
Dubai – UAE
Email: REDACTED
ATTENTION : MALCOLM REYNOLDS
DEAR SIR,
WHERE ARE YOU NOW? I WILL LIKE TO KNOW, SO THAT WE CAN DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOU.
PLEASE KINDLY GIVE US YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE TO ENABLE OUR ACCREDITED ASSIGNED DELIVERY AGENT CONTACT YOU IMMEDIATELY IT GETS TO YOUR TURN TO RECEIVE YOUR CONSIGNMENT.
MRS JANE STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
Mrs Starnes
It's not my consignment.
Malcolm Reynolds
And now, a twist! But they're still making assumptions.
4 May Attention: Malcolm Reynolds
Dear Sir,
My name is Ms Maxine Herissier I am the lady professional banker from Switzerland that will assist you and Ms Helen Demidenk . Apparently, as soon as you receive your consignment from the delivery agent in your country USA and you quickly inform me, then I will fly over and meet you one on one and I will open fixed deposit account for you, in any bank of your choice in any part of the world and I shall proceed with the process of lodging the funds into your new fixed deposit bank accounts that I will open for you right there in USA , that is my job.
Basically my percentage out of that $10million is $150,000, Ms Helen Demidenk is aware of it. so if you are ready and you need my services, you get back to me, I am available any time you are ready.
Yours Faithfully,
Maxine Herissier
Ms Herissier
Let me put you straight.
I'm an American citizen, but I'm not currently living in the United States. Helen Demidenko went ahead with her plan without knowing that.
Helen Demidenk is an entitled idiot who assumed my consent and just went ahead without bothering to read anything I sent her.
Given the aforementioned, your services are not needed.
Have a nice day, ma'am.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on May 6, 2022 23:54:35 GMT
Maybe they can think outside the box...
7 May Dear Malcolm Reynolds
The consignment that was moved from Holland to USA has been sent back to Holland since you are not round to receive the consignment from the delivery agent.. Meanwhile, You are my only hope to get this transaction done.Please make sure you assist me and put claim to this two boxes of consignment. This is the scan picture of the two boxes, one box in Holland and one box in Spain. All my hope is in you in. Please I am counting in you, kindly do something fast before it is too late. Please I will like you to come over to Europe and put claim to this two consignment boxes, each box worth $10million.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Mal's not in a position to travel right now, unfortunately. If only I knew someone in Europe, like in Holland, who could help poor Helen...
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Post by Linoline on May 7, 2022 21:21:20 GMT
What is it with all these packages ending up in Holland? I bet Malcolm will remember he knows a girl there.
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Post by Yastreb on May 8, 2022 3:47:27 GMT
^ Linoline; strangely enough, Mal does...
Ms Demidenko
I'm unable to travel anywhere in the foreseeable future, so it's no going to Europe.
I do have a contact in Holland, for what it's worth. I could ask her to help. How's that? Sorry about Spain, but that's how it crumbles.
Malcolm Reynolds
More as it develops!
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Post by Yastreb on May 12, 2022 4:38:40 GMT
So eager to communicate, she signed it twice!
9 May Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Your mail was well noted and understood. Meanwhile, I will get in touch with the courier delivery services and tell them what you said about the woman that you want to assist us receive the consignment on your behalf over their in Holland, however, whatever be the update I will quickly keep you posted.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Wait! Has Linoline been frozen out?
10 May Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Please exercise little patient with me. I am waiting to hear update from courier delivery services in Spain and Holland, immediately I will keep you posted, so that we can proceed accordingly and finalize this transaction immediately.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Ms Demidenko
So you don't want my friend in Holland to help?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
11 May Dear Malcolm Reynolds
I really want your friend in holland to help me, as the case maybe, but I am trying to perfect things so that the delivery agent will contact her and finalize with her.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Linoline, you have a PM...
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Post by Linoline on May 12, 2022 8:30:39 GMT
May 12
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Post by Birlic on May 12, 2022 11:20:38 GMT
LOL, I already believe in coincidences... everything should work perfectly from now on.  |
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Post by Linoline on May 12, 2022 13:07:27 GMT
Sounds reasonable. Let's wait and see what she comes up with.
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Post by Linoline on May 15, 2022 14:09:34 GMT
Friday May 13
The same message arrived on May 14, but I was not checking my mail and Helen had to wait
May 15
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Post by Linoline on May 21, 2022 9:31:56 GMT
May 16
May 17
May 18
May 20
May 21
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Post by Admin on May 21, 2022 14:59:40 GMT
I wonder sometimes if scammers all have a big dartboard of legalese at which they toss darts to decide which words to put in their scripts. Oh, and Jess is always fun (for us). I really like her in this new role.  |
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Post by Linoline on May 23, 2022 13:25:42 GMT
I think I broke the scammers brain because I didn't get a response
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Post by Yastreb on Jun 2, 2022 9:39:54 GMT
They've come back to Mal!
31 May
INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY 18th Floor, Torre de Cristal, Cuatro Torres
Business Area Madrid, Spain 28046
Email: REDACTED
ATTENTION : MALCOLM REYNOLDS
DEAR SIR,
Your consignment that was kept in our custody by your partner from Ms Helen Demidenko from Ukraine, Tagged Classified Documents and Guaranty bond, has moved to our security vault at the airport here in Madrid Spain for security reasons..However, as a matter of fact and policy, any time you are ready to receive your consignment, you kindly let us know and we will act accordingly.
MRS JANE STARNES
FOREIGN DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
Mrs Stone
Helen Demidenko ain't my partner. I told you that before.
Malcolm Reynolds
1 June Attention: Malcolm Reynolds
Dear Sir,
My name is Ms Maxine Herissier I am the lady professional banker from Switzerland that will assist you and Ms Helen Demidenk . Apparently, as soon as you receive your consignment from the delivery agent in your country AUSTRALIA and you quickly inform me, then I will fly over and meet you one on one and I will open fixed deposit account for you, in any bank of your choice in any part of the world and I shall proceed with the process of lodging the funds into your new fixed deposit bank accounts that I will open for you right there in AUSTRALIAA, that is my job.
Basically my percentage out of that $10million is $150,000, Ms Helen Demidenk is aware of it. so if you are ready and you need my services, you get back to me, I am available any time you are ready.
Yours Faithfully,
Maxine Herissier
Ms Herissier
Helen Demidenko is an entitled idiot who assumed my consent and just went ahead without bothering to read anything I sent him.
I am not his partner.
I haven't agreed to anything, and that is not likely to change.
Given the aforementioned, your services are not needed. You can stay in SWITZERLAND.
Have a nice day, ma'am.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
1 June INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL DELIVERY CARGO COMPANY
18th Floor, Torre de Cristal, Cuatro Torres
Business Area Madrid, Spain 28046
Email: REDACTED
ATTENTION : MALCOLM REYNOLDS
DEAR SIR,
Be informed of our accredited assigned delivery agent just came from Australia on consignment delivery to our respective s client and the official delivery was a success. Basically all our clients indeed received their consignments any problem.
Apparently, one of our delivery agent will be traveling to Australia in the next couple of days on delivery, however, if you are interested and you want us to include your consignment Tagged Classified Documents and Guaranty bond,you kindly let us know in time, so I will tell you our due process with regards to consignment delivery to all our clients, as a matter of policy and official code of conduct in consignment delivery
MRS JANE STARNES
FOREIGN DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
Mrs Stone
I don't give a damn how successful your "accredited assigned delivery agent" was.
Unless Helen Demidenko starts behaving like a mature and rational adult, and not like an entitled spoiled child, there will be no delivery.
It's as simple as that.
Malcolm Reynolds
The original Lad duly grovels...
1 June Dear Malcolm Reynolds
Please sir, kindly forgive me, if there any way i have offended you kindly for give let get this delivery in Spain Done as soon as possible.
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Mr Demidenko
How do you think that you offended me? Be honest!
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Jun 3, 2022 11:35:02 GMT
The answer didn't really address what Mal said.
3 June Dear Malcolm Reynolds
This was the invoice from the delivery courier services I sent to your lady friend in Holland Mrs Jess Jones and I did told her that the information i got from the delivery courier in Holland was that for the consignment to be delivered to her she will give the delivery agent 3000euro to enable him clear the consignment from the security vault where the consignment was kept and further deliver to her address.
Having said that, the courier delivery service in Spain said they can deliver the other one box to you in Australia, however, I will be very very happy if the second box in Spain will be delivered to you in Australia. As you know it is two boxes one in Holland and one in Spain. Please I need your candid advise, so that we get this deals done
Helen Demidenk
Thank you,
Helen Demidenk
Ms Demidenk
That's not how you offended me, Bubba-Louie.
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Jun 14, 2022 10:56:27 GMT
They're back!
14 June
[COLOURFUL HEADING REDACTED]
ATTENTION: Malcolm Reynolds/ Mrs Jess Jones
Dear Sir,/ Madam
Our accredited assigned delivery agent will be proceeding to Holland tomorrow night which wednesday with 9 boxes, of which one box of your consignment was included among the nine boxes, he will be calling you on phone as soon as it gets to your turn of delivery,
Our official procedures is that you will provide the scan copy of your international passport for proper identification, basically it will enhance our delivery agent not to deliver your consignment to a wrong person immediately he arrives Holland for the delivery.
Addition to this, you will provide to us your contact receiving address, where our delivery agent will deliver the consignment to you.
Lastly, immediately our delivery agent arrive Holland, he will contact you on phone and you are going give him the sum of 3,500euro to enable him clear the consignment from the security vault and further deliver to you, as a matter of policy and due process, in line with our code of conduct in respect of consignment delivery to all our clients.
MRS JANE STARNES
FOREIGN DELIVERY DEPARTMENT.
Mal hasn't bothered to reply.
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Post by Linoline on Jun 15, 2022 7:46:26 GMT
I completely forgot to update this thread. Helen did respond with an invoice but eventually gave up and went back to Mal when she couldn't get what she wanted from Jess. May 24 May 25June 14That same message from mrs Jane was sent to Jess, who has no clue who mrs. Jane is, but let's just play along. A bunch of stock pictures were attached for who knows what reason. |
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Post by Linoline on Jun 20, 2022 7:56:41 GMT
June 15
Mrs Starnes to Jess
Jess to Mrs. Starnes
mrs Starnes to Jess
June 16
Mrs. Demidenk
June 17
Jess to Helen
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Post by Linoline on Jun 20, 2022 18:22:08 GMT
June 20
Mrs Starnes
Jess to mrs. Starnes
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2022 20:00:01 GMT
Somehow, I don't feel my confidence meter rising about the chances of a specified invoice.
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Post by Yastreb on Jun 21, 2022 3:37:16 GMT
This was sent to Captain Mal (also in cc), but was meant for someone else.
21 June
ATTENTION : JESS JONES
Dear Madam,
Sorry for the delay, our agent was busy trying to deliver consignment to some of our clients. Now this is your turn for your consignment to be delivered to you.
This is the invoice and the account details where you will pay the 3000euro, Will be forwarded to you as soon as you get back to us, so that you effect the payment and your consignment will be delivered to your address.
MRS JENNA STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
Mal replied rather brusquely (bolding and enlarged font and italics in original).
Mrs Starnes
I am NOT Jess Jones.
Malcolm Reynolds
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Post by Yastreb on Jun 23, 2022 8:51:30 GMT
21 June ATTENTION: Malcolm Reynolds/ Mrs Jess Jones
Dear Sir / Madam,
Yes I know tell Mrs Jess Jones your friend to comply with me and receive your consignment and she is not the one to teach us our job, if she fail to comply with me, i will rather cancel the delivery of the consignment. tell her to get ready with the 3000euro, so that i will give her the account details of the officer in charge of the security vault and she will pay the money and your consignment will be delivered to her.
Sorry for the delay, our agent was busy trying to deliver consignment to some of our clients. Now this is your turn for your consignment to be delivered to you.
This is the invoice and the account details where you will pay the 3000euro, Will be forwarded to you as soon as you get back to us, so that you effect the payment and your consignment will be delivered to your address.
MRS JANE STARNES
OFFICER IN CHARGE FOREIGN
DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
Mrs Starnes
I ain't your messenger boy.
What you want to tell Jess... is what you tell Jess. Simples!
Malcolm Reynolds
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x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
x5, 
, 
, 
x6, 
x11, 
x9, 
x4, 
x2, 
x14, 
x3, 
, 
x4, 
, 
, many 
... a lot of 
