Sometimes I feel like being rude.

All of the below email exchanges took place between the July 13th and July 14th 2022.


This is Agent Mitchell Thompson and we are here in Nigeria as an

FBI/UNITED NATION delegate that have been delegated to investigate these

fraudsters who are in the business of swindling Foreigners that came for

transaction in Nigeria .


Please be informed that during our investigation,we found out that there

is a total sum amount of money $16.2 million that has been assigned in

your name as the beneficiary and these fraudsters are busy swindling

you

without any hope of receiving your fund.


These are the works of the fraud stars who needed to extort money from you

in the name of this transfer.


We have to inform you that we have made some arrested in respect of

this delayed over due fund. I have a very limited time to stay in

Nigeria here so I advise you urgently respond to this message .


These criminals will be caught unaware and we don't want them to know this

new development to avoid jeopardizing our investigation,you need to

conceal anything that has to do with this exercise to enable us get

all the necessary information we required.


I shall be expecting your swift response as soon as you receive this email.


Best Regard,

Agent Mitchell Thompson

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION VISIT IN NIGERIA

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

How can I assist you in bringing these naughty fraud stars to justice.

Toodle-pip

Cyril Surname

Agent Thompson:

Dear Cyril Surname,

Good morning,I just received your email and as a matter of urgency,you are required by the bank to reconfirm your full contact information..Your contact address,phone number,age as well as your occupation. I would like to submit it as urgent as possible in order to enable them commence with the processing of your fund for the transfer.

Regards

Agent Ms Mitchell Thompson

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

I don't want to appear rude, but could you supply me with your FBI ID. I don't want to give my personal details out without being sure that you are who you say you are.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

Agent Thompson:

Attached is my ID for your perusal

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

Thank you for supplying your ID. I have perused it and I am happy that everything seems to be in order. Please let me know how we are to proceed in the apprehension of the fraud stars you mentioned in your introductory email.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

Agent Thompson:

Dear Cyril Surname,

I received your email and please, where you will help us is to make sure you forward any message you receive from any of the criminals ok..

Meanwhile, reconfirm your contact information per my request so that I will submit it with the bank to enable them commence with the processing of your fund.

Regards

Agent Ms Mitchell Thompson

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

How is my compensation going to be paid? I'd rather not have it paid into my bank account for tax reasons, Is there any chance that I could have it delivered via courier to my home address?

Toodle-pip

Cyril

Agent Thompson:

Dear Cyril Surname,

I received your message and per your question, yes, it shall be delivered through Currier company but, I must accompany the fund along with the bank diplomat to make sure it gets to you without any hitches ok.

This is huge amount of fund and that is why I must come along to make sure you receive the fund without any problem of taxes till it gets to your door step. Meanwhile, I will inform the bank as per your request for the Currier Delivery so that they will fix a date for that. Can you please, send your contact address, phone number as I requested earlier.

Regards

Agent Ms Mitchell Thompson

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

How soon after I send the information you're asking for would the delivery be made?

Toodle-pip

Cyril

Agent Thompson:

Sir,

Bank has fixed 20th of this month for the delivery and there are other funds that will be delivered too. So, it is left for you either to proceed or not.

Regards

Agent Ms Mitchell Thompson

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

Of course I wish to proceed. I was only concerned that the delivery date of my compensation would impact on my ability to attend my sister Lilly's 70th birthday party. Now that I know everything will be finalised before then I am happy to provide the information you requested.

Name: Cyril Surname

Address: C@%+*! Q*@"&^ Cottage, S&"*!y C:*$%> I%(£!@;e, De?%",*$ *"&$d, Brockenhurst, Hampshire, SO$£ 7*&

Phone number: +44 LENNY

Toodle-pip

Cyril


And then silence until 4th October.


Agent Thompson:

Heard nothing from you again, what is going on?

Cyril, 7th October:

Dear Agent Thompson

I have been awaiting delivery of my funds ever since I sent you my delivery address. I think it should be me asking you, what is going on?

Toodle-pip

Cyril

Agent Thompson (now Agent Mrs Valerie, but I'll overlook that) 10:14 today:

Cyril,

Good morning, right from day one, I have told you that there is need to have a lawyer here on your behalf so that he will handle some of the legal signing with the bank before I can take up for delivery but you did nothing about it. If you are not ready,shall I inform bank to cancel this fund? Bank has fixed date before and cancel it because no lawyer represent you here.

Regards

Agent Mrs Valerie

Cyril:

Dear Agent Thompson

What the fuck a you blathering on about, you pillock? When have I ever mentioned lawyers in any of my emails? Pull yourself together and do your pissing job and get my funds to me. I have been patiently awaiting the delivery since July the 14th. Do your fucking job and stop making idle threats about getting what is rightfully mine delivered. I expect immediate action.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


I'm interested to see if/how Agent Thompson will reply.