Captain Mal and the UN-Diplomat
Mar 9, 2023 9:31:06 GMT
MildredPierce, sheltontodd, and 2 more like this
Post by Yastreb on Mar 9, 2023 9:31:06 GMT
One quiet Monday evening, Captain Mal received an email from an official of the "Diplomatic Courier Unit" in Ghana. A diplomat with two consignment boxes had arrived in London on the way to deliver the boxes to Mal.
Now Mal was somewhat confused by this and decided to ask questions. As you might have expected, the scammer doesn't give good answers.
Scammer names have been changed; their emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
A strong start, but Kwarteng can’t get what he's supposed to be managing right...
6 March 2023
This is to bring to your notice that your 2 consignment trunk boxes left Diplomatic Courier Unit Accra-Ghana yesterday evening at about 10.30pm and the diplomat is in London UK now, his name is Mr. James Andrews the UN-Diplomat call him with this number +447REDACTED is also his whatsapp line E-mail REDACTED discuss with him how your consignment will be deliver to you in your home address and get back to the (DCU) Management office Accra-Ghana.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
General Manager
DUC Accra-Ghana
Mr Kwarteng
I'm not expecting a consignment from anyone. Who gave it to you in the first place?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Kwarteng replies confidently, and at great length.
6 March
Dear Sir, Malcolm Reynolds
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email; the content therein was well noted. It was after the board meeting which was held by UN and ECOWAS board members, in collaboration with the G8 committee, we are given you this opportunity to receive your consignment/ Inheritance funds which has been held for long period of time due to your wrong dealings with non united nations officials and nongovernmental documentation, and we like you to follow up our instruction now that UN has finally approved the release of your fund. If you have a fund that was put on hold by the UN this is your time now to receive it delivered as a consignment to you.
UNITED NATIONS has decided to release this boxes/fund, due to the reports of foreign investors like you whose consignment boxes and funds have since been ceased for a long period of time due to some documents and clearance certificates that were not legally approved by the UN.
The consignment boxes would have been released to you since, but you never came for the claims of the boxes, so we wish to use this means of delivery to get your consignment/ Inheritance fund delivered to you at your doorstep address over there in your country.
We want you to give us as follows so we can actually affect this delivery to you without any further delay.
(1. COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE.
(2. YOUR HOME AND OFFICE ADDRESS.
(3 YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE NUMBER, AND FAX NUMBER.
(4) THE NEAREST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO YOU
Once we receive this from you, your consignment trunk box will be taking to Delivery Services for onward shipment to your reconfirmed delivery address, after words the airway bill of your trunk box will be send to you including the tracking number so that you will be checking the parcel through the tracking number on the computer to know when it will be deliver to your hands through the Delivery Services Officers to your doorstep
This delivery is urgent, and once we receive your reply we will start processing all the relevant documents that will empower the diplomat to successfully make delivery of your consignment without interference of any law enforcement agents in your country.
Lastly, call the director of this unit Mr. Clement Kwarteng on 233-REDACTED for more directives on your consignment delivery
Waiting to hear from you.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
General Manager
Mr Andrews
Do not tell me what to do. You don't have the right.
Unfortunately, Mr Kwarteng doesn't have his phone switched on, so we can't discuss what's gone wrong.
Mr Kwarteng
That's just more confusing.
"your consignment/Inheritance funds which has been held for long period of time due to your wrong dealings with non united nations officials and nongovernmental documentation" - the only inheritance I was ever involved with was the Morrihan matter, and that went to someone else, and rightly so. It never involved the United Nations, so that bit about "wrong dealings with non united nations officials" makes no sense.
"foreign investors like you whose consignment boxes and funds have since been ceased for a long period of time due to some documents and clearance certificates that were not legally approved by the UN" - I'm not an investor; never have been. And again, the UN wasn't involved with the Morrihan matter.
Given all that, the notion that I'd be getting boxes of cashy money from the UN is just ridiculous. There's been a major malfunction for sure. Your UN-Diplomat got sent on a fool's errand, but don't blame me.
Malcolm Reynolds
So I decide to call.
soundcloud.com/yastrebs-storm-wolf/07-mar-2023-21-05?in=yastrebs-storm-wolf/sets/captain-mal-and-the-un-diplomat
You’ll notice the scammer’s speed in repositioning to a let’s share the money scenario after insisting on the money belonging to Mal, the frequent use of “Listen to me”, and “Johnson Peter” as a fake name. He was also a talkative type, bordering on Radio Without Battery status.
Mr Kwarteng
You hung up on me. Not happy, Bubba-Louie.
Malcolm Reynolds
7 March
Attn: Mr;Malcolm, Reynolds,
There's no way Mr. Clement Nwaiwu can switch off his phone, maybe he has a low battery, it happens sometimes to everyone. You can try him back later. Again i can never tell you what to do but you have to follow instructions and cooperate with me to enable me deliver your consignment to you
Mr.James Anthony
7 March
Attn: Mr.Malcolm Reynold
I am Sorry i had a low battery; it is on charge. Sequel to our telephone conversation, these funds belong to foreign contractors/ Inheritance consignee who’s funds have been held for a long period of time due to their wrong dealing with non United Nation officials and nongovernmental documentation as I told you in our discussion. Sir, as you confirm to me you has no inheritance funds from anywhere, no problem, I don’t have problem with that but understanding between YOU and I will matters a let, if you can agree with me, I will use my veto power as the head of Diplomatic Courier Unit Accra-Ghana branch to execute this deal with you. The good thing is that the funds are in your name with your email address program on our computer to deliver in cash USD$35M to your doorstep. Please dont entertain any fear in your mind it is 100% risk free, i will monitor the delivery until you receive it.
Note: as your name matches with the real owner which is no more, I will advise you to happily receive this fund from the UN-Diplomat Mr. James Andrews to your home address so that you and I will share the fund 60-40. The entire document to cover this consignment funds to your doorstep will be process and issued to your name from the United Nation/ High court of justice which I will send them to you for your confirmation immediately it is ready before the diplomat can come over to your country with the consignment to deliver to you in your home address. What I want from you is your maximum cooperation and confidentiality for the diplomat not to know about it, let it remain between YOU and I, as soon as the consignment deliver to you by the diplomat, both of you will call united nation office to release the key pin code for you to open the boxes and have access on the funds. I will give you more information immediately I hear from you.
If you have any questions to ask please don’t hesitate to do so. I saw your missed calls right now due to the phone is on charge and your number was not showing. I would have called back.
Waiting to hear from you.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
8 March
Attn: Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Did you receive the email I sent to you? Please call me as soon as you receive this mail, so that we can talk. I am also sorry I didn't pick your call twice. You called me, it was charging and I left it in the office and went to the airport to receive one of the diplomats. Forgive me for what it might cost you, it will not repeat again.
Mr. Clement Kwarteng
Mr Kwarteng
I did receive that email, but it arrived after I'd logged out. I may call later today.
By the way, you said that "What I want from you is your maximum cooperation and confidentiality for the diplomat not to know about it" - what do you mean by that?
Malcolm Reynolds
8 March
Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
soundcloud.com/yastrebs-storm-wolf/08-mar-2023-22-07?in=yastrebs-storm-wolf/sets/captain-mal-and-the-un-diplomat
I couldn’t resist a taunt at Kwarteng’s mangling of “genuine”.
Mr Andrews
I have nothing for you, and you have nothing for me. So that makes us even. I hope you're all "jenew".
Malcolm Reynolds
Kwarteng doesn’t want to give up on Mal.
8 March
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Sequel to our conversation, I dislike when you say I am lying to you, what does that mean, which means there’s no trust, I also tell you that the line is very faint. I cannot hear you clearly, you feel I want to divert from the question you're asking me. Look sir I will not do that, because you must be sure of what you're doing.
(1) Before the consignment can be delivered to you, although the diplomat has his immunity that covers what he carries one way or the other but not in time of a large huge amount of funds.
(2) There must be a documentations that will help the consignment funds move free in the airport without begin confiscating by the security agents in the airport, even if they don’t checkmate them but not in times of such amount of money in the airport,
(3) Yes, their immunity will prevent the packages from being opened by the customs or any security agents unless ordered from above.
(4) The consignment has to be cover by this documents such as follows below
Certificate of entry clearance from customs, drug clearance certificate, Ecowas Funds Declaration, all these documents are for the protection of the consignment funds from the place of origin to the receiver country/ home.
Lastly the way your hiding your number to call me is very wrong is on acceptable, fine if you don’t want to do the business your welcome, I am trying to explain things you don’t understand how it goes but all your mind was that am lying to you, do you think am hearing everything your saying no I don’t maybe is from the phone or what I don’t know. I have been in this office for 20 years; I was in the UK before I was transferred to this country okay. If you cannot believe me there’s no business. You can ask me any question you want and I will answer you for you to know that I know what I am saying. But to call me with a hiding number again I will not pick.
Best Regards
Mr. Clement Kwarteng.
Mr Kwarteng
If you don't like being told you're a liar, then don't tell lies. It's as simple as that. I know you were pulling that list of documents out of your ass. It's as certain as sunrise.
As for my number not showing, that's how I asked my telco to make it. I have my reasons, and they are none of your business.
Now Mal was somewhat confused by this and decided to ask questions. As you might have expected, the scammer doesn't give good answers.
Scammer names have been changed; their emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.
A strong start, but Kwarteng can’t get what he's supposed to be managing right...
6 March 2023
This is to bring to your notice that your 2 consignment trunk boxes left Diplomatic Courier Unit Accra-Ghana yesterday evening at about 10.30pm and the diplomat is in London UK now, his name is Mr. James Andrews the UN-Diplomat call him with this number +447REDACTED is also his whatsapp line E-mail REDACTED discuss with him how your consignment will be deliver to you in your home address and get back to the (DCU) Management office Accra-Ghana.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
General Manager
DUC Accra-Ghana
Mr Kwarteng
I'm not expecting a consignment from anyone. Who gave it to you in the first place?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
Kwarteng replies confidently, and at great length.
6 March
Dear Sir, Malcolm Reynolds
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email; the content therein was well noted. It was after the board meeting which was held by UN and ECOWAS board members, in collaboration with the G8 committee, we are given you this opportunity to receive your consignment/ Inheritance funds which has been held for long period of time due to your wrong dealings with non united nations officials and nongovernmental documentation, and we like you to follow up our instruction now that UN has finally approved the release of your fund. If you have a fund that was put on hold by the UN this is your time now to receive it delivered as a consignment to you.
UNITED NATIONS has decided to release this boxes/fund, due to the reports of foreign investors like you whose consignment boxes and funds have since been ceased for a long period of time due to some documents and clearance certificates that were not legally approved by the UN.
The consignment boxes would have been released to you since, but you never came for the claims of the boxes, so we wish to use this means of delivery to get your consignment/ Inheritance fund delivered to you at your doorstep address over there in your country.
We want you to give us as follows so we can actually affect this delivery to you without any further delay.
(1. COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVERS LICENSE.
(2. YOUR HOME AND OFFICE ADDRESS.
(3 YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE NUMBER, AND FAX NUMBER.
(4) THE NEAREST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TO YOU
Once we receive this from you, your consignment trunk box will be taking to Delivery Services for onward shipment to your reconfirmed delivery address, after words the airway bill of your trunk box will be send to you including the tracking number so that you will be checking the parcel through the tracking number on the computer to know when it will be deliver to your hands through the Delivery Services Officers to your doorstep
This delivery is urgent, and once we receive your reply we will start processing all the relevant documents that will empower the diplomat to successfully make delivery of your consignment without interference of any law enforcement agents in your country.
Lastly, call the director of this unit Mr. Clement Kwarteng on 233-REDACTED for more directives on your consignment delivery
Waiting to hear from you.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
General Manager
DCU Accra-Ghana
The diplomat tries to hurry things along...
6 March
Mr.Clement Kwarteng from Diplomatic Courier Unit Accra-Ghana has explained to you the nature and mood of our delivery, what you need to do is to follow instructions and receive your funds from us.Mr Andrews
Do not tell me what to do. You don't have the right.
Unfortunately, Mr Kwarteng doesn't have his phone switched on, so we can't discuss what's gone wrong.
Malcolm Reynolds
... And gets shot down.
Mr Kwarteng
That's just more confusing.
"your consignment/Inheritance funds which has been held for long period of time due to your wrong dealings with non united nations officials and nongovernmental documentation" - the only inheritance I was ever involved with was the Morrihan matter, and that went to someone else, and rightly so. It never involved the United Nations, so that bit about "wrong dealings with non united nations officials" makes no sense.
"foreign investors like you whose consignment boxes and funds have since been ceased for a long period of time due to some documents and clearance certificates that were not legally approved by the UN" - I'm not an investor; never have been. And again, the UN wasn't involved with the Morrihan matter.
Given all that, the notion that I'd be getting boxes of cashy money from the UN is just ridiculous. There's been a major malfunction for sure. Your UN-Diplomat got sent on a fool's errand, but don't blame me.
Malcolm Reynolds
So I decide to call.
soundcloud.com/yastrebs-storm-wolf/07-mar-2023-21-05?in=yastrebs-storm-wolf/sets/captain-mal-and-the-un-diplomat
You’ll notice the scammer’s speed in repositioning to a let’s share the money scenario after insisting on the money belonging to Mal, the frequent use of “Listen to me”, and “Johnson Peter” as a fake name. He was also a talkative type, bordering on Radio Without Battery status.
Mr Kwarteng
You hung up on me. Not happy, Bubba-Louie.
Malcolm Reynolds
7 March
Attn: Mr;Malcolm, Reynolds,
There's no way Mr. Clement Nwaiwu can switch off his phone, maybe he has a low battery, it happens sometimes to everyone. You can try him back later. Again i can never tell you what to do but you have to follow instructions and cooperate with me to enable me deliver your consignment to you
Mr.James Anthony
7 March
Attn: Mr.Malcolm Reynold
I am Sorry i had a low battery; it is on charge. Sequel to our telephone conversation, these funds belong to foreign contractors/ Inheritance consignee who’s funds have been held for a long period of time due to their wrong dealing with non United Nation officials and nongovernmental documentation as I told you in our discussion. Sir, as you confirm to me you has no inheritance funds from anywhere, no problem, I don’t have problem with that but understanding between YOU and I will matters a let, if you can agree with me, I will use my veto power as the head of Diplomatic Courier Unit Accra-Ghana branch to execute this deal with you. The good thing is that the funds are in your name with your email address program on our computer to deliver in cash USD$35M to your doorstep. Please dont entertain any fear in your mind it is 100% risk free, i will monitor the delivery until you receive it.
Note: as your name matches with the real owner which is no more, I will advise you to happily receive this fund from the UN-Diplomat Mr. James Andrews to your home address so that you and I will share the fund 60-40. The entire document to cover this consignment funds to your doorstep will be process and issued to your name from the United Nation/ High court of justice which I will send them to you for your confirmation immediately it is ready before the diplomat can come over to your country with the consignment to deliver to you in your home address. What I want from you is your maximum cooperation and confidentiality for the diplomat not to know about it, let it remain between YOU and I, as soon as the consignment deliver to you by the diplomat, both of you will call united nation office to release the key pin code for you to open the boxes and have access on the funds. I will give you more information immediately I hear from you.
If you have any questions to ask please don’t hesitate to do so. I saw your missed calls right now due to the phone is on charge and your number was not showing. I would have called back.
Waiting to hear from you.
Best Regards
Mr.Clement Kwarteng
8 March
Attn: Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Did you receive the email I sent to you? Please call me as soon as you receive this mail, so that we can talk. I am also sorry I didn't pick your call twice. You called me, it was charging and I left it in the office and went to the airport to receive one of the diplomats. Forgive me for what it might cost you, it will not repeat again.
Mr. Clement Kwarteng
Mr Kwarteng
I did receive that email, but it arrived after I'd logged out. I may call later today.
By the way, you said that "What I want from you is your maximum cooperation and confidentiality for the diplomat not to know about it" - what do you mean by that?
Malcolm Reynolds
8 March
Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
I received your message yesterday. Sir, we don’t need to continue writing without any arrangement on how to deliver your consignment to you. Kindly, go ahead and reconfirm your full address telephone, your first and second page photocopies of your International passport or anything to identify you in person including the nearest airport where i can en route my tacket , to enable the management of diplomatic Courier Unit facilitate your consignment delivery covered documents for your immediate consignment delivery to your home address. Mr.James Andrews.
Mal calls again, and expresses his disbelief at Kwarteng's version of diplomatic immunity.
soundcloud.com/yastrebs-storm-wolf/08-mar-2023-22-07?in=yastrebs-storm-wolf/sets/captain-mal-and-the-un-diplomat
I couldn’t resist a taunt at Kwarteng’s mangling of “genuine”.
Mr Andrews
I have nothing for you, and you have nothing for me. So that makes us even. I hope you're all "jenew".
Malcolm Reynolds
Kwarteng doesn’t want to give up on Mal.
8 March
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Sequel to our conversation, I dislike when you say I am lying to you, what does that mean, which means there’s no trust, I also tell you that the line is very faint. I cannot hear you clearly, you feel I want to divert from the question you're asking me. Look sir I will not do that, because you must be sure of what you're doing.
(1) Before the consignment can be delivered to you, although the diplomat has his immunity that covers what he carries one way or the other but not in time of a large huge amount of funds.
(2) There must be a documentations that will help the consignment funds move free in the airport without begin confiscating by the security agents in the airport, even if they don’t checkmate them but not in times of such amount of money in the airport,
(3) Yes, their immunity will prevent the packages from being opened by the customs or any security agents unless ordered from above.
(4) The consignment has to be cover by this documents such as follows below
Certificate of entry clearance from customs, drug clearance certificate, Ecowas Funds Declaration, all these documents are for the protection of the consignment funds from the place of origin to the receiver country/ home.
Lastly the way your hiding your number to call me is very wrong is on acceptable, fine if you don’t want to do the business your welcome, I am trying to explain things you don’t understand how it goes but all your mind was that am lying to you, do you think am hearing everything your saying no I don’t maybe is from the phone or what I don’t know. I have been in this office for 20 years; I was in the UK before I was transferred to this country okay. If you cannot believe me there’s no business. You can ask me any question you want and I will answer you for you to know that I know what I am saying. But to call me with a hiding number again I will not pick.
Best Regards
Mr. Clement Kwarteng.
Mr Kwarteng
If you don't like being told you're a liar, then don't tell lies. It's as simple as that. I know you were pulling that list of documents out of your ass. It's as certain as sunrise.
As for my number not showing, that's how I asked my telco to make it. I have my reasons, and they are none of your business.
Malcolm Reynolds
x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
