"The brains of a cucumber" | ScamBaiting Forum

"The brains of a cucumber" Jul 11, 2023 2:50:11 GMT Linoline and rob419 like this

Quote

Post by Yastreb on Jul 11, 2023 2:50:11 GMT

We all like insulting scammers. My primary baiter personae, Captain Mal and Cammy, are always ready to cut loose on the deserving guyman. But sometimes they can both be more subtle.

The scammer's name has been changed; his emails are date-stamped. My comments are in bold.

7 July

FROM THE DESK OF MR. KWAME BOATENG,
MANAGER ECOBANK ACCRA-GHANA
Tel: +233REDACTED
Attn: Malcolm Reynolds
I am Mr. Kwame Boateng, the manager of the above institute.
I want to bring to your attention that one of our customers Mr. Steve Reynolds who was a businessman here in Accra-Ghana and hails from your County but unfortunately for him, his wife and his two kiddies were involved in a fatal car accident along Accra Kumasi road in October 7th 2014 that took their lives.
My main aim of contacting you is that since the death of Mr. Steve Reynolds nor of his family member(s) has come for the claims of his funds (US$36.5Million) thirty six million, five hundred thousand United States Dollars which he deposited with our bank and in view of this, since you both bear the same surname and also from the same country.
Sir, with your responds we can start with the processing of fund transfer but I want you know that this account has been dormant for too long and needs to be reactivated before we can effect a swift transfer into your nominated offshore account which you will provide.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng
Manager,
This e-mail is confidential. If you are not the addressee or an authorized recipient of this message, any distribution, copying, publication or use of this information for any purpose is prohibited. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail

I decided on something different in my first reply.

Mr Boateng
Did you contact the United States Embassy about the funds? It's best to be proactive! Just waiting for someone to walk in and ask ain't the right thing.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

8 July

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Sir with all due respect I really thank you for your swift response and more so the government of Ghana has noticed the United Stated Embassy concerning the deceased of Mr. Steve Reynolds.
Sir, for the fact that the funds belongs to your late brother or your family member Mr. Steve Reynolds I want you to know that am I very straight forward person and will not do anything to jeopardize you.
Sir like I said in my first mail the account of your brother Mr. Steve Reynolds has been dormant for a very long time now and needs to be reactivated before we can effect transfer into your offshore account which you will provide and the cost of reactivation is $7.850.00 and moreso the cost of reactivation will be added to the total sum of money your late brother Mr. Steve Reynolds has in our bank ($35.5M) in addition to the reactivation the sum of ($36.507.850)
Am expecting a swift response from you and moreso you can also finish me with WhatsApp number or your cellphone number
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

I was in the mood to dash his hopes, but slowly.

Mr Boateng
I foresee a problem with this scheme of yours. "the account of your brother Mr. Steve Reynolds" - I'm a retired US Marine. My family details are still on file with the Department of Defense, including my next of kin. My brother is named Mark, and he's still alive. So there's the big problem.
Malcolm Reynolds

The scammer trots out something that's designed to impress a victim... but won't impress Mal.

9 July

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Another thanks for your swift response and more so I really don't see any problem here like you claim. Please what you think I am, please am not. Am very honest and humble person with the fear God. I don't have any bad scheme against you.
The only offer I brought to you is a Business proposal which will benefit both of us and family. Actually there's a customer in our bank who passed on some years ago and we have been trying to locate members of his family there in the United States of America and for the fact you and late Mr. Steve Reynolds bear the same surnames I decided to contact you for this very transaction. You may not want it but if you do, we can wrap up the deal together.
The amount involved is ($36.5M) thirty six million five hundred thousand United States Dollars only which is a money changing life.
The only think we both need to do is to reactivate the dormant account for it to be active and you also allow the bank to effect a swift wire transfer into your offshore account which you will provide.
The account needs to be reactivated with the sum of ($8.750.00) eight thousand seven hundred and fifty United States Dollars only. In so doing you will take 60% of the total sum of which ($36.5M) thirty six million five hundred thousand United States Dollars while I will take 40% but before this we both have to pay for the cost of activation to enable the account functional for any transaction to take place.
Most importantly you have to assure me that you will not set back on funds when it enters your account.
If you okay and ready for the transaction please kindly let know and moreso endeavour to leave your WhatsApp number or your cellphone number to me.
Awaiting your swift response.
Best of regards
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

Mr Boateng
Your honesty, humility and religion aren't the issue here; actually I have no religion. But forget your scheme for the present.
Tell me about Steve Reynolds. Age, origin, and career. Don't stint.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

9 July (sent twice)

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Thanks for your mail and the question and I can vividly remember that some of the questions where answered in my first mail. But nevertheless a quick reminder.
Mr. Steve Reynolds was an American by origin who was a businessman who deals on natural Mineral resources to be specific he was a gold deal and was a customer with our bank.
Moreso before he met his untimely death he was 66 of age.
Please if you have a WhatsApp or cellphone number I can reach out to you kindly provide it for me. Have a great weekend.
Best of regards

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

Time to take a step back and ask for something I usually request at the start.

Mr Boateng
Something that I should have asked earlier; how come you chose me to write to?
Malcolm Reynolds

10 July

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Thank you so very much for asking this very important question.
Sir, the reason why I choose you is this. You bear the same surnames and also from the same Country the United States of America.
Best of regards
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

Mr Boateng
I phrased the question poorly. The question should have been; how did you get my email address?
Malcolm Reynolds

The answer surprised me. Mal will explain further.

10 July

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Sir I got your email address from an American based in Ghana here a very closed friend to late Mr. Steve Reynolds who said you can be of help to locate his family and since you both bear the same surname names I thought you are a family member.
Nevertheless please if you are not his family member, you can please make it known to us so we can abort this communication and transaction and look for his close relative(s)
I have done my very best to ensure we locate his relative(s) to enable us remit his funds to his family members but since you are not I think we should put a stop to the communication.
Thank you so very much and have a blessed day.
Best of regards
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

Mr Boateng
Two things to clear up.
Firstly, I don't know anyone in Ghana.
Secondly, you know that I'm not Steve Reynolds' brother. I made that very clear at the start. You'd have to have the brains of a cucumber to have missed that.
So yeah, I agree totally, abort this communication.
Malcolm Reynolds

The scammer sounds somewhat miffed.

11 July

Hello Malcolm Reynolds
Thanks for you kind words for calling me and I Quote " You've have to have the brains of a cucumber to have missed that""
Your impertinence will make you lose this funds ($36.5M) thirty six million five hundred thousand United States Dollars.
I wish I where you you give it a second thought.
Best of regards
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Kwame Boateng

There has to be some term for the act of insulting while claiming not to be insulting. I've used this with Cammy a few times.

Mr Boateng
You really do have the brains of a cucumber if you think I'd put myself at the mercy of the IRS by helping you steal from your bank, Bubba-Louie.

And if you're going to act like a snowflake over having the brains of a cucumber, trust me, you got off lightly. I could have called you a maggot, a shitstain and a fucking asshole, but I've got manners.
Malcolm Reynolds