Dr. Goreman & the Remarkably Persistent Scammer (15+ months)

It must not be often, thought Dr. Jebediah Alfred Goreman over his evening tea, that a lad should desire, so desperately and single-mindedly, to be baited, such that in the absence of the slightest incentive, of any sign of life from his mugu, for months on end, he would in the pursuit of his dollas neither slacken nor tire, contributing piecemeal to the steady barrage of e-mails which he spirited along on their way to the Doctor's once-peaceful farmhouse in the pine forests of Mississippi, where the whirring of the fax-machine with its all too familiar 'network sound' came as it was carried over the fall breeze to drown out the birdsong and the crickets at night




The canned opener, and the scammer's canned response, demanding personal details of the sort that you should never give to a stranger on the Internet


I forget about him for a year. This is not a luxury available to romance baiters, or indeed in most aspects of life, but the rare opportunity for a unilateral disengagement was refreshing

The scammer eagerly adheres himself to the hook which I have cast



The one-sided bait continues

He wants to build a strawman, to scare his mugu into hastening the payment. But his account of events was not clear enough for the foolish Goreman, who offered at once and without hesitation to send the money (however much and on whatever pretext we do not know) to the imaginary third party. Sensing a particularly eager victim, the scammer rushes to provide bank details. The fruits of my approach evince its merits - usually these must be coaxed out of the lad through great effort

I am still adamant that Mr. Williams (not the scammer) should receive my many fundssss

I am so stupid and overflowing with cash that the scammer sees fit to reiterate his bank details




And again ...

The lad sits in his cafe in Lagos all day waiting to receive the fundssss and instructing me on how to speak to a bank teller

"I have done nothing." - The G-Mail autoresponder suggested this, and I could not resist
Something involving a steam locomotive

Something involving a steam locomotive

"Do you want a few gift cards, or several ?" / "Yes, I would quite like to have several hundreds of dollars, if this would not be a problem, please and thank you"

Skipping a few dozen emails here - Mr. Goreman, out of courtesy if nothing else, finally succumbs to the scammer's demand for personal information, which he had made over a year prior. But the parochial American does not understand "swift code"

Predictably, Mrs. Fishborne provides her bank details for the fourth time - now including a demand (or really just a statement) of the amount "$2,810 United States Dollars"

Skipping a few emails again (the grand total approaches 150). Since Mrs. Fishborne (for no discernible reason) calls me Yusuf, I shall be calling her Yusuf from now on

Two months and a few dozen more emails down the line, Yusuf is eager to take any opportunity to provide for me his bank details. He also increases his demand from $2810 to $4600 "but I will advise you to make it ... $5000" he has probably found a new ashawo whom he must furnish with bag and shoe