"Damn your eyes!"

new

« Prev
1
Next »

Yastreb
Moderator

Wolfsmeister

There are scammers a-plenty, and the wolves smell blood... let's go hunting

Posts: 2,761

"Damn your eyes!" Nov 13, 2023 5:19:01 GMT rob419 likes this

Quote

Post by Yastreb on Nov 13, 2023 5:19:01 GMT

I have several baiting personae, and I guess a combination of being a role-playing gamer and an aspiring novelist means that for a couple of them I've developed their personalities to such an extent that keeping in character can be more important than (say) aiming for a trophy. It can, for example, relate to Cammy's vanity, or Mal's professional pride.

The scammer's emails are date-stamped; his name has been changed. My comments are in bold.

9 November 2023

Greetings,I am Mr. Kofi Samuel. I got your contact information from a reputable business/professional directory. I'm working with HSBC Bank Ghana as one of the Senior Vice Presidents. I am writing you this memo, because I have an urgent BUSINESS PROPOSAL for you that will benefit both of us and it’s urgent.
For more details, write to me on my personal
contact e-mail.....REDACTED@gmail.com/Phone: +233REDACTED

I chose a standard reply.

Mr Samuel
I have to ask if you meant me to get that message.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

10 November

Hello Malcolm Reynolds I am contacting you regarding of the money in our bank here which the owner has abandoned for the past Five years, the money is $35 million USD ( Thirty Five Million United States of America) All we need is foreign receiver with foreign account. If you have a bank account to receive a huge amount of money like this, you can get back to me so that i can explain to you better on how to move forward. If you have any questions you can ask me, I am here to answer you.
Regards,
Mr. Kofi Samuel
+233REDACTED

I didn't reply that day, and he became impatient.

10 November

Hello Malcolm, Let me know if you are interested in this business proposal i just sent to you

Mr Samuel
You said you were contacting me about a business proposal.
Now you say that you want my help with getting money out of your bank.
That, and that fact that you said that you got my contact from a business directory, has me puzzled.
Malcolm Reynolds

Sure looks like they started without me!

11 November

Hello dear Malcolm , I hope you are doing good there. My friend, this is very serious deal. Let me if you are interested. We have already transferred the money to bank in Dubai if you are interested let me know so that we know what next to do.

Mal waited until after Veterans/Armistice Day to reply.

Mr Samuel
We're not on a first-name basis, sir. But let's leave that for now.
I assumed you were serious from the start. That's why I was puzzled by your claim to have found me in a business directory; I'm a retired US Marine and I've never taken part in business.
Further, you just now stated that you moved the money from Ghana to Dubai. That said, I don't understand why you need me at all.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

Note the last sentence. Mal certainly did!

12 November

Dear Malcolm, Thank you for your response to my email. I think I have explained to you that this money was here in the bank. We need someone with a good account outside Africa to receive the money for us. You don't need to worry at all before we transfer the money to you. All we need is someone who is willing to sponsor the deal to enable us to do the transfer without any issues. We want to first move the money to Dubai from Ghana because of security reasons because if the total amount of $35 million Dollars transfer to United States direct from Ghana, it would look suspicious and involves a lot interrogation that is why we bring the idea of first sending the money to local bank in Dubai from there the money will be transfer to your corsinating bank account in USA. I think you get my explanation clear now. I think because you are not in this type of deal that is why it sounds so strange to you. I want to let you know that we move money from Africa to the USA almost everyday. After this clear deal I will introduce you to more of our African politicians who always need people who can receive money for them outside Africa.

Mal opts for candour (emphasis in the original).

Mr Samuel
We're not on a first-name basis, sir. Just so you're aware.
I'm not in the United States any longer. I'm now living in Australia. I don't know if that would matter to you. And you're damned right when you say "I think because you are not in this type of deal that is why it sounds so strange to you". I think it sounds as dodgy as all fuck, but hey, what would I know?
Finally; "I will introduce you to more of our African politicians who always need people who can receive money for them outside Africa" - now why would African politicians want people who can receive money for them outside Africa?
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

"It was at this moment that Kofi Samuel realised he had fucked up".

13 November

Thank you for the clarification. I don't have a problem with the country you are from. All I need is a realialle and trustwordy person. I will send you some of the documents on this deal tomorrow so that you can understand how serious I am on this deal, The politicians like to be investing our African looting to developing countries like your country rather than investing here in Africa because probing after they leave power. I will send you some documents tomorrow.
Thank you
Mr Kofi.

Mr Samuel
Excuse me? "developing countries like your country"? I'm an American citizen, damn your eyes! America is not a "developing country"! And for the record, neither is Australia!
Malcolm Reynolds

I await his response!

YOU ARE A INGE-AT AND A MAD MAN STOP CONTACT ME.

YOU ARE THE WORST FOOL I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MYLIFE IDIOT

OU ARE AN IDIOT A BIG FOOL YOU ARE YOU DON'T HAVE RESPECT FOR YOUR FATHER THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO DO AWAY WITH YOU FUCKING BASTARD LIKE YOU

:safari:

x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin)

Yastreb
Moderator

Wolfsmeister

There are scammers a-plenty, and the wolves smell blood... let's go hunting

Posts: 2,761

"Damn your eyes!" Nov 19, 2023 4:43:21 GMT jebediahgoreman and rob419 like this

Quote

Post by Yastreb on Nov 19, 2023 4:43:21 GMT

Samuel tries to smooth things over by... missing the point!

14 November

Dear friend, I am in Africa, not America don't get my message twisted. Let me how serious are you so that i can let the lawyer go for the changes of ownership to your name to enable to start the money transfer this week

Emphasis is in the original.

Mr Samuel
Where you are doesn't matter! You said, "developing countries like your country". How else can I read that in any other way that calling America or Australia a "developing country"?
Malcolm Reynolds

He's still not getting it!

15 November

Yes good friends, America and Australia are more developed than Africa that is why i said. When do you want us to start this change of ownership?

Mr Samuel
Don't try to throw dust in my eyes. Admit you made a mistake, and then we can move on and discuss matters.
Malcolm Reynolds

16 November

Mr. Malcolm
There is no way I can throw dust into your eyes. All I want to do with you is a successful deal together. We need to get a lawyer to change the name of the owner of this money to your name as soon as possible so that we can start transferring the funds to you.

I'll grant him this; he can't actually throw dust in my eyes. But I never said that he could. I said he shouldn't try. But it's time to move on.

Mr Samuel
Why do you need to change the name of the owner of the money to my name?
Malcolm Reynolds

I can imagine Samuel giving a sigh of relief as he moves into the main phase of the scam.

16 November

Thank you Malcom for the question. This changes of ownership is more important to us to do because that is the first step we can take to changes the owner of the money name in Ghana high court to your name as the new owner of the money, this is the only way we can be able to transfer the money to you in your country without any query or question when the money drop in your account in your country.
WHY YOU NEED TO CHANGE OWNERSHIP
1. Insurance policy does not cover you if you have not changed ownership as the current law states that once there has been change of owner, the policy ceases to be valid.
2. It may result in litigation on the part of the estate in the case where the current owner dies and the change of ownership was not finalized as the money would still be registered in that person's name.
3. The money is not yours because it is not registered in your name until we go to High Court of Justice to change the name of the owner of the money to your name before we can do the transfer of the money to you successfully.
The Ownership Certificate of the money is with us all we need to is to change it to you name.
This is the process we will follow to make this done.
EQUIREMENTS
A signed application letter for transfer of ownership from the High Court of Ghana
Two (2) recent coloured passport size pictures of the new owner ( buyer)
ID card of new owner
PROCEDURE
Present the transfer letter.
Payment of the prescribed fee if approved
Acquire, complete and sign forms affix pictures and present for processing
Obtain roadworthiness certificate irrespective of the status of the present validity.
Regards
Mr Samuel

I could have questioned several things in that script, but I went after the reasons for the change of ownership.

Mr Samuel
First you tell me that "This changes of ownership is more important to us to do because that is the first step we can take to changes the owner of the money name in Ghana high court to your name as the new owner of the money" - so the change of ownership is important because it's the first thing to do to change the owner of the money to my name as the new owner... Sir, that is pure circular logic! "It must be done because it must be done" is what you're saying!
"It may result in litigation on the part of the estate in the case where the current owner dies and the change of ownership was not finalized as the money would still be registered in that person's name" - wouldn't it be much simpler to have a Power of Attorney, given that the original owner might get nervous about signing his money over to someone else?
"The money is not yours because it is not registered in your name until we go to High Court of Justice to change the name of the owner of the money to your name before we can do the transfer of the money to you successfully" - I'm not a banker, but I know that when I send money to someone's account for whatever reason, I don't have to change the ownership of the money to someone else's name beforehand.
Malcolm Reynolds

Samuel clearly doesn't understand anything of what Mal said.

16 November

Dear friend, we don't need the previous owner's signature before we do the changes of ownership, I am working in the bank and I have already made an arrangement for that. All we need from you is your signature to include in the documents for the change of ownership. After this process then I will be able to open the non-residential account in your name. The transfer of the money would be an online transfer in which I will give you the login and password to the account to enable you to be monitoring the money and be doing the transfer yourself without any delay. My good friend, I am waiting for the payment from you so that I can get this change of ownership certificate as soon as possible. I will send the copy to you before we open the non'-residential account in your name.
I will be waiting to read from you soon

I couldn't resist a classic Mr Prithee line.

Mr Samuel
You completely ignored all that I said about the need for a change of ownership, but we'll leave that for now.
I don't do online banking. Too many harkers and fraudstars.
Malcolm Reynolds

17 November

This is not a scam or harkcking stuff. I am serious about this deal. If you don't want the money to be transferred to you online we can also arrange for a diplomatic courier to deliver the money to you but this can be done after we do the changes of ownership. Trust me and let us make this deal happen. This is a lot of money we are talking about, don't let the small charges make you lose this opportunity, this is a lifetime achievement for both of us. Please think about it

Samuel made a unwise suggestion there...

x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin)

Yastreb
Moderator

Wolfsmeister

There are scammers a-plenty, and the wolves smell blood... let's go hunting

Posts: 2,761

"Damn your eyes!" Nov 20, 2023 11:35:09 GMT rob419 likes this

Quote

Post by Yastreb on Nov 20, 2023 11:35:09 GMT

Mal doesn't like the reference to "small charges". He also has a question that Samuel is likely to answer wrongly.

Mr Samuel
I don't give a hairy rat's butt for any "small charges", and I'm not talking about you being a harker or fraudstar. I'm just finding your logic a bit hard to understand.
Something else; "we can also arrange for a diplomatic courier to deliver the money to you" - explain that.
Malcolm Reynolds

Samuel can use Google to find an explanation about diplomatic couriers. Good for him! But he adds something guaranteed to make Mal suspicious.

17 November

Diplomatic courier is a U.S. government official who is trained and credentialed by the Secretary of State to accompany classified materials across international borders. The Diplomatic Security Service has approximately 100 diplomatic couriers who ensure secure delivery of classified and sensitive materials between U.S. consulates and embassies and the State Department. We can use them to bring the money to you in cash after we withdraw it out from the bank. Secondly we can load the money into an ATM. I will send the ATM card to you with a password. It depends on you to choose.

17 November

My dear brother, Don't let us talk too much on this deal, i promise you after this payment for the changes of ownership you are not going to pay any money till the money get to you in your country. take my words i promise.

17 November

I want you to just trust me and pay this $1,275 USD for the changes of ownership so that I can go to high court with the lawyer and do the changes of ownership to your name, the documents will be send to you as soon as i get before we move forward and send the money to you. If you are willing, you can also come here to witness everything, even go to the court with me.

Mr Samuel
As I told you before, I'm a retired US Marine. One of my duties during my service was to serve as a guard at several United States embassies, where I got to meet an assortment of consular officials, such as charges d'affaires, attaches, diplomats, and diplomatic couriers.
What I know from all that service is that you are lying. It is impossible for you to claim with any sincerity that you could get a United States diplomatic courier to act as your bagman.
Malcolm Reynolds

The handwaving is strong with this one!

18 November

My good friend, stop thinking negatively. Why should I lie to you, lied over what? I am a very honest and sincere person. After this deal is done I will come there to meet you in the country you are in so that you will see me in person. Please trust me don't let this small money be the issue to make this money to be sending to you. If you are not interested in this diplomatic courier option or the online transfer option. I think loading the ATM Card with the money and sending it to you will be a better option for us. How i wish i have this money as I should have paid it to clear your doubt but i don't have it that is why i need a person like you in this deal to be the sponsor. Please do your best. I promise you that you are not going to regret this. Let us think about the $35 million USD. The money is a lot of money for both of us. Please if you have the $1,270 USD don't let it to be problem to you to send.

Mr Samuel
Why you lied ain't important; you did lie, and that's the point.
You were claiming that you can get a diplomatic courier, normally entrusted to transport classified materials, to carry $35 million dollars to me; that is total bullshit, Bubba-Louie.
This has nothing to do with "small money"; it's got everything to do with your blatant dishonesty.
Malcolm Reynolds

Scammers occasional toss in obscure words for some reason, such as "peradventure" when they could have just said "if". But "parabulating" is a new one; according to Urban Dictionary it means going up and down.

18 November

My friend, I think you are misunderstanding me. I am only suggesting using Diplomatic Courier for making the delivery of the funds to you after we claim it out from the bank. I don't know why you think I am lying to you, I am not and I never will. Talking too much on this deal is not going to solve anything, If you are not interested just go straight to the point and let me and stop parabulating.
Thank you

I occasionally answer a scammer with a paraphrase of his answer, as here.

"Tergiversation" means being equivocal; not giving a straight answer.

Mr Samuel
I am not misunderstanding you. I am only pointing out that using Diplomatic Courier to make the delivery of the funds to me after we claim it from the bank is manifestly fucking impossible. I don't know why you would tell such a stupid lie, or think that you can claim to be not lying to me and be believed. Trying to convince me that you're telling the truth is futile. If you won't accept that, just give up and stop the stupid tergiversation.
Have a nice day.
Malcolm Reynolds

Samuel does the equivalent of raising a white flag.

19 November

My friend, How i wish you could come here to see things with your own two eyes. Maybe that can convince you to do this deal with us but if you insist on not believing me that is very good, I wish you the best.

Mal shoots down the white flag.

"Putain" is not a misprint.

Mr Samuel
There's more chance of Putain being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Bubba-Louie.
Malcolm Reynolds

x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin)

« Prev
1
Next »