Post by Yastreb on Oct 25, 2020 12:55:54 GMT
A familiar name turns up in Captain Mal's inbox (emphasis added):
24 October 2020
Attn: Mr. Malcolm Reynolds
This mail is coming to you from the Office of the Vice President Federal Republic of Nigeria My Name are Professor Yemi Osinbanjo, Sir, I want to let you know that there is a report from the Board of Directors, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) showing that you Mr. Malcolm Reynolds, has the sum of US$10.5Million in the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), but the Report is saying that one of the Directors in the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) in the Name of Dr. Lambert Starr (JP) has been waiting for you to comply with the instruction given to you so that your Money will be transfer into your Bank Account, but you are not ready and willing to comply, hence the Bank wants to terminate this your transaction.
In this Case we are not Banker, we only hold the Government, but in this condition my Disk must know about this matter before it will finally put to rest, also my Office is the Countries Economic adversary Heads, and this kind of matter much first get to my Disk before action will be taking.
Please I sincerely want to hear side of this matter from your angel before I will approve this report or not.
NB: THIS IS MY PRIVATE MAIL BOX REPLY ONLY THROUGH THIS MAIL BOX.
Best Regard
Prof Yemi Osinbanjo
VP Federal Republic of Nigeria
This mail is coming to you from the Office of the Vice President Federal Republic of Nigeria My Name are Professor Yemi Osinbanjo, Sir, I want to let you know that there is a report from the Board of Directors, Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) showing that you Mr. Malcolm Reynolds, has the sum of US$10.5Million in the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), but the Report is saying that one of the Directors in the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) in the Name of Dr. Lambert Starr (JP) has been waiting for you to comply with the instruction given to you so that your Money will be transfer into your Bank Account, but you are not ready and willing to comply, hence the Bank wants to terminate this your transaction.
In this Case we are not Banker, we only hold the Government, but in this condition my Disk must know about this matter before it will finally put to rest, also my Office is the Countries Economic adversary Heads, and this kind of matter much first get to my Disk before action will be taking.
Please I sincerely want to hear side of this matter from your angel before I will approve this report or not.
NB: THIS IS MY PRIVATE MAIL BOX REPLY ONLY THROUGH THIS MAIL BOX.
Best Regard
Prof Yemi Osinbanjo
VP Federal Republic of Nigeria
Not the Lambert Starr, surely? The loquacious Lambert Starr, He-Who-Talks-Under-Wet-Cement, He-Who-Schooled-At-Liverpool-In-The-City-of-London, scourge of chain-smokers and urchins and "eed-yots"? Let's find out!
So Mal replies cautiously...
Professor Osinbanjo
I'm confused by this statement; "you are not ready and willing to comply, hence the Bank wants to terminate this your transaction." If I've got money in a bank, how can it then "terminate the transaction"? The money would remain mine, I'm sure. I'd like to settle that matter first before anything else is discussed.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
I'm confused by this statement; "you are not ready and willing to comply, hence the Bank wants to terminate this your transaction." If I've got money in a bank, how can it then "terminate the transaction"? The money would remain mine, I'm sure. I'd like to settle that matter first before anything else is discussed.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds
25 October
Attn: Mr. Malcolm Reynolds
Please My Dear there is nothing for you to confused about, all I say is kindly use this E-mail address and make contact to the Central Bank of Nigeria CBN, First and let us see what the Bank will say, (xxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@gmail.com) that was what I asked you to do kindly comply with my Directives first, the name of the Director you will contact is Dr. Charles Columbus, just let him know that I Professor YEMI OSINBAJO the Vice President of this Country Ordered you to contact the Central Bank to tell you what you must do so that the Central Bank will Transfer your Money US$10.5Million into any Bank Account you will send to them or you tell them that what you want is ATM Card Simple.
Please I thank you for your Understanding, kindly use the E-mail (xxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@gmail.com, and whatever the Central Bank tells you kindly let me know.
Best Regard
Prof YEMI OSINBAJO
Please My Dear there is nothing for you to confused about, all I say is kindly use this E-mail address and make contact to the Central Bank of Nigeria CBN, First and let us see what the Bank will say, (xxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@gmail.com) that was what I asked you to do kindly comply with my Directives first, the name of the Director you will contact is Dr. Charles Columbus, just let him know that I Professor YEMI OSINBAJO the Vice President of this Country Ordered you to contact the Central Bank to tell you what you must do so that the Central Bank will Transfer your Money US$10.5Million into any Bank Account you will send to them or you tell them that what you want is ATM Card Simple.
Please I thank you for your Understanding, kindly use the E-mail (xxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@gmail.com, and whatever the Central Bank tells you kindly let me know.
Best Regard
Prof YEMI OSINBAJO
VP FGN
Not so fast there, Bubba-Louie. I want to know what old Starr baby has to say for himself...
x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
4 Gold Pith Helmets. 83 Safaris. Abidjan-Bouake/Belgium-UK/B'ham–Liskeard/B'ham-Looe/Cambridge-Looe/CdI-Ghana/Ekpoma-Kano/France-UK x2/Ghana-RoB x4/Ghana–CdI x4/Ghana-Chad/Ghana–Nigeria x2/Ghana-UK/Lagos-Pt Hct/London-York x2/London–Plymouth x10/London–Looe x6/London-Liskeard x3/London–Rame Head x19/Mali-CdI x2/Manchester-Looe x2/Manchester-Plymouth x1/N'lands-UK x3/Nigeria-RoB x2/Nigeria–CdI x3/Nigeria–Ghana x2/Nigeria–Liberia/Örebro-Malmö/PortoNovo-Parakou/RoI-UK x2/Togo-Nigeria