Post by eddyj on May 10, 2021 6:14:21 GMT
Today Edward received an unexpected email from Anders Karlsson, CFO of Swedbank. Edward is very interested in this business opportunity and also senses an opportunity to practise his very rusty Swedish...
Hello Friend,
Thank you for your response to my email and your willingness to partner me in this endeavor, considering the money involved, and due to the nature of this transaction, it is necessary for you to be sure of whom you are transacting with, you can visit our web-page here: ( www.swedbank.com/newsroom/image-gallery/group-executive-committee/?contentid=CID_1251166# ) in order for you to know more about me. I want to be sure that you are ready to execute this transaction with me. What I expect from you is trust and commitment. I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance and you should have nothing to worry about regarding legality at all, as I have gotten a reputable attorney to prepare all legal documents backing you as the legitimate beneficiary of the funds and so considering the paperwork we are about to sign together on this but, I will appreciate you to follow my directives amicably as everything shall be done in accordance passing through all international banking laws, and as a banker, I know that if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 9 working days.
I would take care of all the expenses with regards to the lawyer that would provide all legal documentation with regards to this transaction and I once again assure that you have nothing whatsoever to worry about.
The money would be shared between us in the ratio 60/40. Before The attorney can go ahead with the preparation of the application for funds release and some other documents which you shall also sign before he can officially tender the application on our behalf so that it will be looked into and before the funds can be endorsed for transfer. Provide me with the Information if your Agree so that the Attorney can prepare the document for funds release to you.
Full Name:
Address:
Occupation:
Gender:
Date of birth:
Country:
ID CARD:
Phone Number:
I await your prompt reply on this.
Kind Regards,
Anders Karlsson, CFO Swedbank
Edward is excited for the opportunity to practise his Swedish. There are a few possibilities here - the lad really is in Sweden and knows Swedish, or more likely, is not in Sweden, and speaks not a word of Swedish. Either way, he will have a lot of difficulty interpreting Edward's garbled Swedish, and this will of course be all his fault. Here is Edward's reply:
Dear Anders,
Thankyou for your email. I hope it is okay for me to reply in Swedish, because I lived in Stockholm for several years, and welcome the opportunity to practise.
I have some important things to ask you. Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? (old nonsensical meme phrase that will hopefully cause some confusion, especially after going through Goolge translate on both my end and the lad's)
Secondly, have you ever tried a potato enema? It can cure cancer. (setup for possible trophy baiting later. Edward is a representative of Potatoes for Health Inc., who coincidentally are looking for male models to pose with potatoes for an upcoming advertising campaign...)
Finally, please let me know what to do to proceed with our business transaction. (Completely ignoring his request for details)
Regards,
Edward.
All of this goes into Google translate to give Edward's reply:
Kära Anders,
Tack för ditt meddelande. Jag hoppas att det är okej att jag svarar på svenska, eftersom jag bodde några år i Stockholm och uppskattar en möjlighet att träna.
Jag har något viktigt att säga till dig. Har någon verkligen varit långt lika beslutad att använda ens gå vill se mer ut? För det andra, har du någonsin provat en potatis lavemang? Jag hade cancer och det botade mig.
Till sist, låt mig veta hur vi ska gå vidare med vår affärstransaktion.
Vänliga hälsningar,
Edward.
Tack för ditt meddelande. Jag hoppas att det är okej att jag svarar på svenska, eftersom jag bodde några år i Stockholm och uppskattar en möjlighet att träna.
Jag har något viktigt att säga till dig. Har någon verkligen varit långt lika beslutad att använda ens gå vill se mer ut? För det andra, har du någonsin provat en potatis lavemang? Jag hade cancer och det botade mig.
Till sist, låt mig veta hur vi ska gå vidare med vår affärstransaktion.
Vänliga hälsningar,
Edward.
Edward awaits a reply from "Anders" with bated breath...