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Post by Yastreb on Mar 2, 2021 13:41:00 GMT
I've been known over the years (to some people, at least) for a tendency to tinker with song lyrics in the manner of Weird Al Jankovic, and never more so than in baiting. So let me share some of my efforts today.
THE BALLAD OF LEA SAM KHONG (Good King Wenceslas)
LSK looked sadly out
On the festive season
Why his maga not pay out?
He didn’t know the reason
The MTCNs were no good
Which was just too cruel
Worse had been his café chums
“You’ve been a big fool.”
"Listen, listen, well to me
Those numbers aren’t existing.
Are you playing games with me?
Why should I be persisting?"
"Meet me at this fine hotel
Just across the border
I’ll pay for all your meals and drinks
In any room you order."
"Now you’re talking, Mr P
Make sure you have the money
A sample of the gold I’ll bring
This deal is sweet as honey.”
So to the bus park Lee then went
With Isaac his best man-friend
The bus then set out four hours late
What waited at the end?
"Mr Lee, where are you now?
I can’t wait here past Monday
I had a call from Randee Thom
He said he’d be back one day."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You great big fool
That man is a scammer
If I meet him, I’ll smash his head
Smash it with a hammer."
But Mr Lee and Isaac found
They’d been played for suckers
Mr P and Randee Thom
They cursed as mother******
So they returned to their cafe
And the taunts were cruel
As other guyman laughed and jeered
“You’ve been a big fool.”
ABUJA (Vienna by Ultravox)
Walked down the mean streets
Leering touts on the corner stones
Lying and waiting
A man on the phone with a quiet voice
So open and trustful
Crying out with a piercing cry
Where is that hotel?
The taxi is gone leaving us behind
Are they coming for us
Are they coming for us
In Abuja
The waiting is painful
Chargeless phones and shrinking funds
Where is that hotel?
An angry night and the dawn light brings
No word from our maga
The promises made to our oga now
Are worth less than nothing
The taxi is gone leaving us behind
Are you coming for me
Are you coming for me
In Abuja
Are you coming for me
Are you coming for me
In Abuja
PRITHEE DON'T LOSE THAT NUMBER (Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan)
You said you're paying us today
I thought our transaction had just begun
I guess the juju scared you, made you run
Now don't you have a change of heart
Prithee don't lose that number
You don't want to pay nobody else
Send it now in an email to myself
Prithee don't lose that number
Make sure to write it down
Else I can't pick up the money
In my home town
I have a friend in town, here’s his name
Send him the fee now, by Moneygram
You can't be playing games, tell me now
Now don't you have a change of heart
Prithee don't lose that number
You don't want to pay nobody else
Send it now in an email to myself
Prithee don't lose that number
Make sure to write it down
Else I can't pick up the money
In my home town
You tell yourself you've paid the fee
Why do you never listen to me
Now don't you have a change of heart
Prithee don't lose that number
You don't want to pay nobody else
Send it now in an email to myself
Prithee don't lose that number
Make sure to write it down
Else I can't pick up the money
In my home town
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 13, 2021 2:32:07 GMT
I CLEAN THE TOILETS (I Am The Walrus)
I am me and so you see how it could be
I work for Mr Mensah
See how I rush to buy a brush
See how we fly
To Ghana
Scrubbing round the U-Bend
Waiting for my boss to flush
Endless straining, stupid constipation
Oh he made a big mistake
He should have poo’d before
I clean the toilets
I clean the toilets
For Mr Mensah
Poo Poo Poo Poo
Kofi Mensah’s helicopter
Rotors spinning now it’s time to go
See how it flows how long it goes, he’s got the runs
I'm scrubbing, I'm scrubbing
I'm scrubbing, I'm scrubbing
Smelly yellow faeces
It’s enough to make you cry
Irritable bowel, explosive diarrhea
Boss just did a stinky poo, and he forgot to flush
I clean the toilets
I clean the toilets
For Mr Mensah
Poo Poo Poo Poo
Cleaning up a stinky toilet
Barrister…
CHOP MODALITY (Space Oddity)
Greedy Lad to Randi Thom
Greedy Lad to Randi Thom
Do your duty now and send the money on
Greedy Lad to Randi Thom
I’m waiting for the MTCN,
Give the numbers and may God's love be with you
[spoken] Eno, Owt, Eerht, Ruof, Evif, Xis, Neves, Thgie, Enin, Eroz… Meltdown!
This is Greedy Lad to Randi Thom
You've really pissed me off
And I want to know just who you think you are
Now tell me you’re a joker if you dare
This is Randi Thom to Greedy Lad
I'm taken all the cash
And I'm laughing at your daft modality,
For I’ve chopped your dollar now most happily
For here am I pocketing your dollars
Far across the world
You can swear till you turn blue
But there's nothing you can do
Now I've got one hundred k and more
I'm feeling very smug
And I think I’ll buy a sports car and a watch
Show my wife I love her very much
She’ll know
Greedy Lad to Randi Thom
A curse on you, my voodoo’s strong
Can you hear me, Randi Thom?
Can you hear me, Randi Thom?
Can you hear me, Randi Thom?
Can you....
For here am I pocketing your money
Far across the world
You can swear till you turn blue
But there's nothing you can do
THE SCOURGE OF LADS (Ashes To Ashes)
Do you remember a Lad that's been
Chopping for so long
I've heard a rumour from the EFCC
Oh no, don't say it's true
They got a message from the Axe Man
"I'm chopping, no way you're stopping me
I take all that I want to take
no MTCNs following"
The shrieking of guymen is thrilling
Just pictures of trunkboxes in email and you
Ain't got no money and you ain't got no hope
I've taken the cash and you’re screaming at me
Ashes to ashes, face the facts man
We know Randi Thom's an axeman
Waiting at Moneygram
He’s the scourge of Lads
Time and again they take the phone
“Give me the number now!”
But the axe man goes for the chop
Oh no, not again
He’s stuck with an angry mugu
“I'm chopping, no way you're stopping me”
One instant chop
but no payday for you
I chop every guyman
I chop all that I can
I never chopped anyone didn’t deserve,
Took an axe to 419s,
Wanna take all their cash
Ashes to ashes, face the facts man
We know Randi Thom's an axeman
Waiting at Moneygram
He’s the scourge of Lads
My mum said
To get things done
You'd better not mess
with Randi Thom
My mum said
To get things done
You'd better not mess
with Randi Thom
My mum said
To get things done
You'd better not mess
with Randi Thom
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Post by Admin on Mar 13, 2021 5:04:45 GMT
That's some talent!
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 14, 2021 0:05:50 GMT
Fred Bareton pitched in with this hilarious version of Bernard Cribbins' Right Said Fred. I've amended one name, but the rest is just as Fred wrote it.
RIGHT SAID FRED (by Fred Bareton)
Right said Fred
Will you teach me baiting
Looks like fun
I think I’ll have a go
So I started
Lads were broken hearted
We will give them nothing
And so you never pay the fee
Right said Fred
Give a shout to Prickly
Up came Prickiy
He’s the man
who’ll know
Obi’s joking
Prickly’s outside smoking
Lads were getting nothing
And so we never pay the fee
And Prickly
Had a think
And thought we ought
to make the lad safari
From Ghana down to Mali
If that’s a flop
We can always do a chop
Right said Fred
I wanna do a love bait
With some luck
I’ll get myself a ho
She’s a sweetie
Said she’ll like to meet me.
But we know
That she’ll never showww
Fred said he will never pay the fee
And we said right-o
Right said Fred
I love baiting
Watch my knowledge
Really grow and grow
He will loan bait
Even do a phone bait
The lad is getting nothing
So he will never pay his fee
All right said Fred
I’ve had another e-mail
From an orphan
With a tale of woe
Her folks were in an air crash
Left me all of their cash
She is getting nothing
And so she wanted sympathy
And Prickly had a think
He said look Fred
I got a sort of feeling
We’ll never stop him stealing
Cause he’s a crook
Just keep him on the hook
All right said Fred
I think I can do it
I know the rules
I'll try it on my own
The collation
Of all the information
Was far too much for his dome
The lad thought we
Had really paid the fee
But we were at home
(talking)
I said to Prickly
It takes a while to learn how to bait well
The trouble with Fred he’s too hasty
You never get nowhere you’re too hasty
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 14, 2021 8:32:07 GMT
And for your listening pleasure... the performance of Fred Bareton's Right Said Fred. Sit back and enjoy!
The recording has been removed by Soundcloud on copyright grounds.
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Post by Fred on Mar 14, 2021 9:17:17 GMT
and It's not me singing it
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 16, 2021 2:31:56 GMT
SCAMMER'S HELL (Sick And Tired by Anastacia)
He’s stuck in scammer's hell (x4)
A little late for all the cash you didn’t send
I’m not blaming you
But I blame all those swine at Moneygram
‘Cause I learned the truth
Your money’s gone to someone else, it didn’t come to me
I thought there’d come a day I’d be so happy
I’m sick and tired
Of mugus that just never pay
Now this isn’t fair
I told to trust me but you didn’t listen
And you didn’t pay
So I’m cursing
Don’t say that I’m gay!
No warning of the dollar chop
Of shattered hopes
My dreams of party times and hookers, no
I’m on the ropes
I bought new voodoo charms
From a man in Jankara mart
I thought you’d pay this time
You broke my heart!
I’m sick and tired
Of mugus that just never pay
Now this isn’t fair
I told to trust me but you didn’t listen
And you didn’t pay
So I’m cursing
Don’t say that I’m gay!
Now this isn’t fair
I told to trust me but you didn’t listen
And you didn’t pay
So I’m cursing
Don’t say that I’m gay!
He’s stuck in scammer's hell (x4)
Now this isn’t fair
I told to trust me but you didn’t listen
And you didn’t pay
So I’m cursing
Don’t say that I’m gay!
THE SOUND OF BARKING (Sounds of Silence)
Mr Duncan my old friend
I failed to pay you once again
Because a pigeon softly cooing
Saw just what I was doing
And the fear that it planted in my brain
Still remains
I hear the sound of barking
I knew just what I had to do
I had to travel forth from Looe
So I went out to take the bus
I was sure that it would be no fuss
When my mind was touched by the force of a voodoo spell
All was not well
I heard the sound of barking
And all around me I could see
A hundred pigeons haunting me
Pigeons with their evil eyes
For they were Mr Mensah’s spies
Casting voodoo, to bring me to my doom
So very soon
I heard the sound of barking
“No!” said I, “This cannot be
This voodoo has no power over me
Hear me pray against your spell
Hear me pray that you go straight to hell”
But my prayers just faded into air
I heard the sound of barking
So Mr Duncan now you know
Where the money had to go
For the pigeons gave me this morning
Mr Mensah’s ultimate warning
And his words were “If you disobey then a dog you’ll forever be
Just wait and see”
I heard the sound of barking
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Post by MildredPierce on Mar 16, 2021 5:40:28 GMT
👏👏👏bravo right said fred
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Post by Yastreb on Mar 18, 2021 10:04:31 GMT
And The Scammers Go... (Take a Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed)
Prithee went to Plymouth in the UK
To send money to Nigeria one day
Ninety minutes on the bus
He sent the money and made the call
To say "Hey there, I sent the cash to Mr Mensah"
"You know, your chairman Mr Mensah"
And the scammers go "No, no, no, no no no, no, no, no, no..."
Cammy's voice sounded sweet as honey
She made a vow she'd send a lot of money
But Freyja and her boyfriend too
Warned her what she'd got into
She said "Fuck you, the Runes say you're a scammer"
She said "Fuck you, AJ says you're a scammer"
And the scammers go "No, no, no, no no no, no, no, no, no..."
Mister Eric said that he would pay
Get a gift card and the numbers say
But he couldn't read the numbers right
Trying far into the night
He said, "Now then, it's X for ex-wife"
He said, "Just listen okay? It's X for ex-wife"
And the scammers go "No, no, no, no no no, no, no, no, no..."
Captain Mal couldn't believe his ears
That orphan boy had burst into tears
First he snivels, then he cries
Said that Mal was telling lies
Mal said "Well, then, you're gettin' nothin'"
He said "Fuck you, you're gettin' nothin'"
And the scammer goes "No, no, no, no no no, no, no no, no no..."
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Post by Yastreb on Jul 15, 2021 0:05:15 GMT
MISTER MALLAM (Mister Postman by The Carpenters)
Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Mallam
(Wait)
Wait Mister Mallam
Please Mister Mallam, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a parcel in your van for me
(Please, Please Mister Mallam)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh yeah)
For me to hear from that client of mine
There must be some word today
From Mister Prithee so far away
Please Mister Mallam, look and see
If there's a parcel, a parcel for me
I've been standin' here waitin' Mister Mallam
So patiently
For you to give me a tracking number
To prove he's sending gifts to me
Mister Mallam, look and see
(Oh yeah)
If there's a parcel in your van for me
(Please, Please Mister Mallam)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh yeah)
For me to hear from that client of mine
So many days you passed me by
See the tears standin' in my eyes
You didn't stop to be raising my spirits
With a parcel with all those gifts in it
Mister Mallam, look and see
If there's a parcel in your van for me
(Please, Please Mister Mallam)
Why's it takin' such a long time
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
Wait a minute
(Mister Mallam)
Mister Mallam, look and see
Mister Mallam
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Post by jpsholland on Sept 9, 2021 21:12:47 GMT
Scammers Glory (Gunslingers Glory by The Dead South)
Creep and crawl until you fall
Into that old dark room
Where you left your sins and all of your friends
Staring back the old man's lies as he watched you drown
You get up and you just
Call around
Little scam, lot of money
They wont understand
As you hang on that line with a look of victory
Pulling out your tricks and blasting them around
Oh, one of these days you got your
You got your crown, wooh-oh, wooh
I want to be the very best
Best there ever is
The biggest scam
The richest motherfucker in these lands
I want to be the very best
Best there ever is
The biggest scam
The richest motherfucker in these lands
Goin' around every day as I scam away
Takin' them on down to their knees to pray
Make my way up to the top
Rise into the wood
Bein' a scammer is a glory
And Goddamn
Goddamn it's good
I want to be the very best
Best there ever is
The biggest scam
The richest motherfucker in these lands
I want to be the very best
Best there ever is
The biggest scam
The richest motherfucker in these lands
Well I got my wish, I was the best
The only problem is
I'm laying on the cold cement
With a scambaiters voice....
In my head
In my head
In my head
Now i wish to be dead
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Post by jpsholland on Sept 9, 2021 21:32:23 GMT
We are the scammers ( We Are The Champions by Queen)
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But I've come through
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the richest, my friends
And we'll keep on scamming till the end
We are the richest
We are the richest
No time for losers
'Cause we are the richest.... of the World
I've taken your money
In my many calls
You brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been a bed of roses
A pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before
The human race
And I ain't gonna lose
And we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the richest, my friends
And we'll keep on scamming till the end
We are the richest
We are the richest
No time for losers
'Cause we are the richest.... of the World
We are the scammers, my friends
And we'll keep on scamming till the end
We are the scammers
We are the scammers
No time for losers
'Cause we are the richest.... of the World
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Post by jpsholland on Sept 9, 2021 21:50:12 GMT
Another one bites the dust (Another One Bites The Dust by Queen)
Let's go
Obi walks warily down the street
With his brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Brown envelopes ready to go
Are you ready hey are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway the scammers call
To the sound of the beat... yeah
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think I'm going to let you alone
Without you when you're done
You scammed me for everything that I had
And kicked me out on my own
Are you happy are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat
Out of the doorway the scammers call
To the sound of the beat... look out
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
Hey
Oh take it - Bite the dust bite the dust
Hey Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust ow
Another one bites the dust he he
Another one bites the dust haaaa
Ooh shout it out
There are plenty of ways that you can scam a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down
But I'm ready yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the brown envelopes rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust yeah
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
Shout it out
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Post by jpsholland on Sept 9, 2021 22:34:47 GMT
Obi's Theme (Sympathy For the Devil by The Rolling Stones)
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long years
Stole many scammers money and faith
And I was 'round when Paul Andy
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pricky
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Stuck around in Lagos
When I saw it was a time for a change
Called General Toilet and his cleaners
The General screamed in vain
I toke a bank
Held a monygram rank
When the calls raged
And the money stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your scammers and conman
Scammed for many years
For the little money they made
I shouted out
Who called the MTCN?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid brown envelopes for employees and police
Who got bribed before they reached an payment
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, idiot
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Mister Obi
'Cause your in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politeness
Or I'll lay your money to waste, mm yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Aah yeah
Tell me baby, what's my name?
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name?
Tell me baby, what's my name?
I tell you one time, you're to blame
What's my name
Tell me, baby, what's my name?
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name?
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Post by Yastreb on Sept 13, 2021 7:51:45 GMT
THE REVEREND QUINN (Manfred Mann: The Mighty Quinn)
Some Lads are making works of art
Some are building monuments
Just doing their part
Everybody’s had enough of the lockdown blues
And when Quinn the Reverend gets there
It’s an offer we can’t refuse
Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
We’d all like to stredd the Lads abroad
But COVID spoiled all that
We won’t infect the ITPs
I’ll say it off the bat
But now here comes a likely Lad
To cure the lockdown blues
And when Quinn the Reverend gets here
It’s an offer we can’t refuse
Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
He’s sent us loads of drawings
And yes, all of them pinched
He’s pledged to build a pyramid
Like it’ll be a cinch
We’re waiting now with baited breath
For the next thrilling part
And when Quinn the Reverend gets there
The fun’s just about to start
Oh come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
Come all without, come all within
You'll not see nothing like the Reverend Quinn
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Post by Yastreb on Nov 13, 2021 21:54:39 GMT
Jerald's Song (Sam Cooke's What A Wonderful World) (From an original version by Mark)
Don't know much 'bout cryptocurrency Bitcoin or a blockchain you see
Don't know much about a barcode book,
Don't know much 'bout the account I took,
But I do know that I love you
(If you send me the money)
And I know that if you love me too
(You will send me the money)
What a wonderful world this would be
(After you sent me the money)
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Post by Yastreb on Jan 2, 2022 7:41:14 GMT
I WENT TO THE WESTERN UNION (I Went To A Garden Party by Ricky Nelson)
I went to the Western Union to send money to my new friend
A chance to get my millions, and never work again
When I got to the Western Union, they all knew my name
And I knew them just as well, for they were the same
But it's all right now, I paid the little fee,
To the man in Ghana, he'd never lie to me
I walked into the outlet, everyone was there
They offered me a cigarette, there was ganja in the air
And I paid over the money, just as I'd been told
To Tony Asamoa, who was good as gold
But it's all right now, I paid the little fee,
To the man in Ghana, he'd never lie to me
Then I called the General, to bring him up to date
And let him know I'd paid the fee, and everything was great
He asked me the receiver name, I told him, and he said
That somebody had hacked my mail, and I'd been misled
But it's all right now, I paid the little fee,
To the man in Ghana, he'd never lie to me
I started up a conference call, and Kofi put me right
On how the General cleaned the bowls, and made them shine so bright
The General got so angry, I thought he'd have a stroke
But Kofi told me all was well, and have another smoke
But it's all right now, I paid the little fee,
To the man in Ghana, he'd never lie to me
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Post by Pricky on Jan 2, 2022 17:54:12 GMT
You are wasted talents!
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Post by Yastreb on Jan 16, 2022 3:10:48 GMT
This is for Jeraxander!
Hearing All The Tears (from Reeling In The Years by Steely Dan)
You're romancing your blue bunny and you know that it won't last
So you go to grab a parcel and you gotta get it fast
Well, you'll never see that package or get to hold it in your hand
You're stredded in Abuja and you'll never understand
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
You've been telling me you're American with millions to your name
And how much you loved me and felt not a bit of shame
The weekend in Abuja didn't turn out like you planned
The presents in the package didn't get into your hand
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
You've spent a lot of money and you've spent a lot of time
The trip you made to Abuja must be etched upon your mind
After all the things we've done to you, you've made another plan
And when it goes to hell and back you still won't understand
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
Are we hearing all the tears?
Wasting all his time
Can we make it last for years?
That would be sublime
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Post by Yastreb on Jan 23, 2022 12:55:13 GMT
Another one for Jerald Jeraxander!
The End (The End by The Doors - Apocalypse Now opening scene)
This is the end
My greedy friend
This is the end
My greedy friend, the end
Of your elaborate schemes, the end
Cos nothing's what it seems, the end
No packages for you, the end
You've lost to Tanko's crew, again
Can you tell us what it cost
As you both wandered lost
Desperately in need of Blue Bunny's hand
In a desperate land...
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Post by Yastreb on Jan 30, 2022 0:47:09 GMT
Another one for Jeraxander!
So why can't I find her? (So why can't I touch it? by The Buzzcocks)
Well, she seems so real I can see her
And she seems so real I can feel her
And she seems so real I can taste her
And she seems so real I can hear her
So why can't I find her?
So why can't I find her?
But then she looks so real I can see her
And she feels so real I can see her
And she tastes so real I can see her
And she sounds so real I can see her
So why can't I find her?
So why can't I find her?
Then she looks so real I can feel her
And she feels so real I can taste her
And she tastes so real I can hear her
And she sounds so real I can see her
So why can't I find her?
So why can't I find her?
Now, she is so real I can see her
And she is so real I can feel her
And she is so real I can hear her
And she is so real I can taste her
So why can't I find her?
So why can't I find her?
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Post by jpsholland on Apr 23, 2022 18:45:31 GMT
Scammers ode on his superwiser. (I am gonna be / 500 miles by The Proclaimers)
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go scam, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who scam along with you
When I get rich, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets rich next to you
And when I harvest, hey I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's harvest the money from you
And I would scam 500 dollar
And I would scam 500 more
Just to be the man who scam a thousand dollars
To fall down at your door
When I'm scamming, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's scamming hard for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home(When I come home), well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And when I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
But I would scam 500 dollar
And I would scam 500 more
Just to be the man who scammed a thousand dollar
To fall down at your door
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da Da
Da da da (da da da)
Da da da (da da da)
Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da Da
When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you
When I go out(When I go out), well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home(When I come home), yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with money
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with money
And I would scam 500 dollar
And I would scam 500 more
Just to be the man who scammed a thousand dollar
To fall down at my door
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Post by jpsholland on Apr 23, 2022 18:58:58 GMT
The Call Street shuffle (The Wall Street Shuffle by 10cc)
Do the Call Street shuffle
Hear the money rustle
Watch the greenbacks tumble
Feel the victim crumble
You need a yen to make a scam
If you want to make money
You need the luck to make a buck
If you want to be Getty, scammer
You've gotta be cool on Call Street
You've gotta be cool on Call Street
When your index is low
Dow Jones ain't got time for the fun
They wind up on call row with holes in their pockets
They plead with you, buddy can you spare the dime
But you ain't got the time
Doin' the
Doin' the
Oh, Radj Pattel
Did your money make you better?
Are you waiting for the hour
When you can screw me?
'Cause you're big enough
To do the Call Street Shuffle
Let your money hustle
Bet you'd sell your mother
You can buy another
Doin' the
Doin' the
You scam and cheat
You wheel and deal
But you're living on instinct
You get a call
You follow it
And you make a big dollar
On Call Street
On Call Street
On call Street
On Call Street
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Post by jpsholland on Apr 23, 2022 19:11:06 GMT
Scammers Money (Money by Pink Floyd)
Money
Get more
You get a good job with more pay and you're okay
Money
It's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star, daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team
Money
Get more
I'm alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack
Money
It's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the high-fidelity first-class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet
Money
It's a crime
Share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie
Money
So they say
Is the root of all scammers today
But if you ask for a fee
It's no surprise that they're giving some pay
pay, pay, pay
pay, pay, pay
I was in the right
Yes, absolutely in the right
I certainly was in the right
Yeah, I was definitely in the right, that geezer was cruisin' for a bruisin'
Yeah!
Why does anyone do any call?
I don't know, I was really busy at the time
Just telling him it was in, he could get it in number two
He was asking why it wasn't coming up on eleventeen zeven
And after, I was yelling and screaming and telling him why
It wasn't coming up on eleventeen zeven
Madarchode.....
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Post by jpsholland on Apr 23, 2022 19:21:07 GMT
Money, money, money (Money, money, money by Abba)
I scam all night, I scam all day to pay the luxury bills I have to pay
Ain't it fun?
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for them
That's too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn't have to work at all, I'd fool around and have a ball
Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
It's a rich man's world
A call like that is hard to find but I can't get that off my mind
Ain't it fun?
And if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me
That's too bad
So I must leave, I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And scam a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same
Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world
Aha
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
It's a rich man's world
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Post by jpsholland on Apr 23, 2022 19:56:25 GMT
A superwiser's day (The day before you came by ABBA)
Must have left my house at eight, because I always do
My train, I'm certain, left the station just when it was due
I must have read the morning paper going into town
And having gotten through the editorial, no doubt I must have frowned
I must have made my desk around a quarter after nine
With calls to be made, and heaps of numbers waiting to be assigned
I must have gone to lunch at half past twelve or so
The usual place, the usual bunch
And still on top of this I'm pretty sure it must have payed
The day before you came
I must have lit my seventh cigarette at half past two
And at the time I never even noticed I was rich
I must have kept on scamming through the business of the day
Without really knowing anything, I hid a part of me away
At five I must have left, there's no exception to the rule
A matter of routine, I've done it because I never finished school
The train back home again
Undoubtedly I must have read the evening paper then
Oh yes, I'm sure my life was well within it's usual frame
The day before you came
Must have opened my front door at eight o'clock or so
And stopped along the way to buy some cheap food to go
I'm sure I had my dinner watching something on TV
There's not, I think, a single episode of Ramayana that I didn't see
I must have gone to bed around a quarter after ten
I need a lot of money, and so I like to be in bed by then
I must have read a while
The latest one by Suresh Sadagopan or something in that style
It's funny, but I had no sense of living without aim
The day before you came
And turning out the light
I must have yawned and cuddled up for yet another night
And a 24-7 call flood on the computer I must have heard the sound of pain
The day before you came
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Post by Yastreb on Apr 24, 2022 23:16:12 GMT
MTCN (Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin)
Oh Lord, won't you send me an MTCN?
I look like a loser among my guymen
Worked hard on my clients, no luck in the end
Oh Lord, won't you send me an MTCN?
Oh Lord, won't you get that parcel to me?
There’s guys making fortunes, why can’t it be me,
I wait for delivery each day until three,
Oh Lord, won't you get that parcel to me?
Oh Lord, won't you get me a maga that pays?
I'm sending out emails, and waiting for days
But there’s always excuses, and they go away
Oh Lord, won't you get me a maga that pays?
Oh Lord, won't you send me an MTCN?
I look like a loser among my guymen
Worked hard on my clients, no luck in the end
Oh Lord, won't you send me an MTCN?
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Post by jpsholland on May 29, 2022 21:44:25 GMT
Radj Pattel's Rhapsody (Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a callcenter,
No escape from big money
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a rich boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
Me, to me
Mamaaa,
Just scammed a man,
Put a phone against his head, played my tricks,
Now he's mad
Mamaaa, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, oooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come,
Sends money down my bank, phone's ringing all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the victim
Mama, oooh
I don't want to work,
I sometimes wish I'd never been to work at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scammer, Scammer, will you do the Fandango!
Cursing and words fighting, not very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnificoo
I'm just a rich boy nobody loves me
He's just a rich boy from a poor family,
Give him his life from this stolen money
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bhenchod! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bhenchod! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bhenchod! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go)(Never) Never let you go
(Let me go) (Never) let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go
Superwiser has money put aside for me, for me,
For meee
So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye
So you think you can stop me and leave me to die
Oh, boy, can't do this to me, boy,
Just gotta get rich, just gotta get rich right here
Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me
Any way the money comes...
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Post by Yastreb on May 30, 2022 0:41:05 GMT
Send That Sixty Thousand Again (Steely Dan's Turn That Heartbeat Over Again)
With smiling face I made the pitch
The plan was set to fool that bitch
Told her why there was no video call
It might blow up the rig and kill us all
And they took my PC away
Love you baby, need your money
When you don’t pay it’s not funny
Send the money, send the slip too
Don’t go blaming me
Oh baby my baby you know I'm not to blame
You know my reputation for playing a good clean game
Oh baby my baby I'll keep my promise when
You send that sixty thousand again
My word’s my bond you know my heart
So please just go and do your part
Send it to Mary and she'll send it right here
This oil rig is sitting off Norway
And I want to leave it someday
Love you baby, need your money
When you don’t pay it’s not funny
Send the money, send the slip too
Don’t go blaming me
Oh baby my baby you know I'm not to blame
You know my reputation for playing a good clean game
Oh baby my baby I'll keep my promise when
You send that sixty thousand again
We told you not to trust Tanko
And find some other branch to go
But then you chose to trust him not me
And I warned you what he’d do
He's there, he’s cheating you
Love you baby, need your money
When you don’t pay it’s not funny
Send the money, send the slip too
Don’t go blaming me
Oh baby my baby you know I'm not to blame
You know my reputation for playing a good clean game
Oh baby my baby I'll keep my promise when
You send that sixty thousand again
Send that sixty thousand again
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Post by jpsholland on Jun 18, 2022 20:59:24 GMT
Radio Without A Battery (Radio Gaga by Queen)
I'd sit alone and watch your delight
My only friend through scammers nights
And everything I had to know
I heard it on your radio
You gave them all those old time scams
Through computer calls, sometimes invaded by Memz
You made 'em laugh, you made 'em cry
You made us feel like we couldn't die
So don't become some background toy
A backdrop for the girls and yahoo boys
Who just don't know, or just don't dare
And just complain when you don't care
you have the time time, you have the power
You've yet to have your finest hour
Radio (radio)
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio blah blah
Radio, what's new?
Radio, without a battery
We watch the shows, we watch the scams
On youtube for hours and hours
We laughed at you, often in tears
How scammers don't change through the years
Let's hope you ever leave, my old friend
Like all good things, you need to meet your end
So fuck around, 'cause we don't miss you
When we grow tired of all this scams
If you had your time, if you had the power
You've yet to have your finest scammers hour
Radio (radio)
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio goo goo
Radio ga ga
All we hear is radio ga ga
Radio blah blah
Radio, whitout a battery
Nobody still loves you
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x 4 (Lagos to Abuja, Nigeria to Ghana, Nigeria to Benin, Ghana to Benin) 
x9
4 Gold Pith Helmets. 83 Safaris. Abidjan-Bouake/Belgium-UK/B'ham–Liskeard/B'ham-Looe/Cambridge-Looe/CdI-Ghana/Ekpoma-Kano/France-UK x2/Ghana-RoB x4/Ghana–CdI x4/Ghana-Chad/Ghana–Nigeria x2/Ghana-UK/Lagos-Pt Hct/London-York x2/London–Plymouth x10/London–Looe x6/London-Liskeard x3/London–Rame Head x19/Mali-CdI x2/Manchester-Looe x2/Manchester-Plymouth x1/N'lands-UK x3/Nigeria-RoB x2/Nigeria–CdI x3/Nigeria–Ghana x2/Nigeria–Liberia/Örebro-Malmö/PortoNovo-Parakou/RoI-UK x2/Togo-Nigeria